west, and was on his way to Europe to invite the emperors
and things to come over to this country and shoot cats on his preserve.
Well, say, you ought to have seen how they stepped one side and waltzed
around, and one of them went in the next room and told the president dad
was there, and before we knew it we were in the president's room, and
the president began to curl up his lip, and show his teeth like some one
had said "rats."

[Illustration: President began to curl up his lip 045]

He got hold of dad's hand, and dad backed off as though he was afraid of
being bitten, and then they sat down and talked about mountain lion and
cat shooting, and dad said he had a 22 rifle that he could pick a cat
off the back fence with every time, out of his bedroom window, and I
began to look around at the pictures. Dad and the president talked about
all kinds of shooting, from mudhens to moose, and then dad told the
president he was going abroad on account of his liver, and wanted a
letter of introduction to some of the kings and emperors, and queens,
and jacks, and all the face cards, and the president said he made it a
practice not to give any personal letters to his friends, the kings,
but that dad could tell any of them that he met that he was an American
citizen, and that would take him anywhere in Europe, and then he got
up and began to show his teeth at dad again, and dad gave him the grand
hailing sign of distress of the Grand Army and backed out, dropped his
hat, and in trying to pick it up, he stepped on it, but that made it
look better, anyway, and we found ourselves outside the room, and a lot
of common people from the country were ready to go in and talk politics
and cat shooting.

Well, we looked at pictures, and saw the state dining room where they
feed 50 diplomats at a time on mud turtle and champagne, and a boy about
my size looked sort of disdainful at me, and I told him it he would come
outside I would mash his jaw, and he said I could try it right there
if I was in a hurry to go, and I was starting to give him a swift punch
when a detective took hold of my arm and said they couldn't have any
scrap there, 'cause the president's son could not fight with common
boys, and I asked him who he called a common boy, and then dad said we
better go before war broke out in a country that was illy prepared for
hostilities on a large scale, and then I told a detective that dad was
liable to have one of his spells and begin