had held his hand over her maid's mouth, so
she could not make any outcry.

[Illustration: Night watchman came in with a house policeman 071]

Well, I got my horse chestnut all right, out of the bed, and the
policeman told the countess not to be alarmed, and go back to bed, and
they took dad and I to our room, and asked us all about it. Gee, but
dad put up a story about hearing a woman scream in the next room, and,
thinking only of the duty of a gentleman under the circumstances, rushed
to her rescue, and all there was to it was that she must have had a
nightmare, but he said if he had it to do over again, he would do the
same. Anyway, the policeman believed dad, and they went off and left us,
and we went to bed, but dad said: "Hennery, you understand, I don't want
to make any more female acquaintances, see, among the crowned heads,
and from this out we mingle only with men. The idea of me going into a
woman's room and finding a Floradora with fits and tantrums, and me, a
sick man. Now, don't write to your ma about this, 'cause she never did
have much confidence in me, around women with fits." So, Uncle Ezra, you
must not let this get into the papers, see?

Well, we have bought our tickets for Liverpool, and shall sail
to-morrow, and while you are making up your cash account Saturday night,
we shall be on the ocean. I s'pose I will write you on the boat, if they
will tie it up somewhere so it will stand level. Your dear boy. Hennery.

CHAPTER VI.

The Bad Boy Writes the Old Groceryman About Ocean Voyages--
His Dad Has an Argument Over a Steamer Chair.

On Board the Lucinia, Mid-ocean.

Dear Old Geezer.

I take the first opportunity, since leaving New York, to write you,
'cause the boat, after three days out, has got settled down so it runs
level, and I can write without wrapping my legs around the table legs,
to hold me down. I have tried a dozen times to write, but the sea was so
rough that part of the time the table was on top of me and part of the
time I was on top, and I was so sick I seem to have lost my mind, over
the rail, with the other things supposed to be inside of me. O, old man,
you think you know what seasickness is, 'cause you told me once about
crossing Lake Michigan on a peach boat, but lake sickness is easy
compared with the ocean malady. I could enjoy common seasickness and
think it was a picnic, but this salt water sickness takes the cake. I am
sorry for dad, because he holds