nd the Dakota man let up on the speech. Then the duke took out a roll
of bills and said: "Ze shentlemen is what you call bust. Is it not so?"
Dad said he could bet his life it was so. Then the duke handed the roll
of bills to dad, and said it was a tribute from the prince of
Monaco, and that we were his guests, and when our stay was at an end,
automobiles would be furnished for us to go to Nice, where we could
cable home for funds, and be happy.

Well, when the duke left us, dad said: "Wouldn't that skin you?" and he
gave the Dakota man one of the bills to try on the bartender, and when
he found the money was good we ordered an automobile and skipped out for
Nice. The chauffeur could not understand English, so we talked over the
situation and decided that the only way to be looked upon as genuine
automobilists would be to wear goggles and look prosperous and mad at
everybody. We took turns looking mad at everybody we passed on the road,
and got it down so fine that people picked up rocks after we had-passed,
and threw them at us, and then we knew that we were succeeding in being
considered genuine, rich automobile tourists.

After we had succeeded for an hour or two in convincing the people that
we were properly heartless and purse proud, dad said the only thing
we needed to make the trip a success was to run over somebody. He
said nearly all the American automobile tourists in Europe had killed
somebody and had been obliged to settle and support a family or two in
France or Italy, and they were prouder of it than they would be if they
endowed a university, or built a church, and he said he trusted our
chauffeur would not be too careful in running through the country, but
would at least cripple some one.

Well, just before we got to Nice, and darkness was settling down on the
road, the chauffeur blew his horn, there was a scream that would raise
hair on Horace Greeley's head, the automobile stopped, and there was a
bundle of dusty old clothes, with an old woman done up in them, and we
jumped out and lifted her up, and there we were, the woman in a faint,
the peasants gathering around us with scythes and rakes and clubs,
demanding our lives. The bloody-faced woman was taken into a home, the
crowd held us, until finally a doctor came, and after examining the
woman said she might live, but it would be a tight squeeze. We wanted
to go on, but we didn't want to be cut open with a scythe, so finally a
man, who said he was t