as though I was to
blame, when he told me to order all there was in sight. Well, I have
witnessed heart-rending scenes, but I never saw anything that would
draw tears like dad digging down for that $43. The doctors at home had
ordered excitement for dad, but this seemed to be an overdose, and I
was afraid he would collapse and I offered him my glass of brown pop to
stimulate him, but he told me I could go plumb, and if I spoke to him
again he would maul me. He got his roll half out of his pistol pocket,
and then talked loud and said it was a damoutridge, and he wanted to see
Astor himself before he would allow himself to be held up by highwaymen,
and then all the other diners stood up and looked at dad, and a lot of
waiters and bouncers surrounded him, and then he pulled out the roll,
and it was pitiful to see him wet his trembling thumb on his trembling
dry tongue and begin to peel off the bills, like you peel the layers off
an onion, but he got off enough to pay for the dinner, gave the waiter
half a dollar, and smiled a sickly smile at the head waiter, and I
led him out of the dining-room a broken-down old man. As we got to the
lobby, where the horse show of dress-suit chappies was beginning the
evening procession, I said to dad: "Next time we will dine out, I
guess," and at that he rallied and seemed to be able to take a joke, for
he said: "We dined out this time. We dined out $43," and then we joined
the procession of walkers around, and tried to look prosperous, and
after awhile dad called a bell boy, and asked him if there wasn't a good
dairy lunch counter near the Waldorf, where a man could go and get a
bowl of bread and milk, and the bell boy gave him the address of a
dairy lunch place, and I can see my finish, 'cause from this out we will
probably live on bread and milk while we are here, and I hate bread and
milk.

It got all around the hotel, about the expensive dinner dad ordered for
himself and the little heir to his estate, and everybody wanted to get
acquainted with dad and try to get some stock in his copper mine. I had
told dad about my telling the boys he was a bonanza copper miner, and
he never batted an eye when they asked him about his mine, and he looked
the part.

[Illustration: One man wanted dad to cash a check 067]

One man wanted dad to cash a check, 'cause the bank was closed, and he
was a rich-looking duke, and dad was just going to get his roll out and
peel off some more onion, when I s