aid: "Not on your tintype, Mr. Duke,"
and dad left his roll in his pocket, and the duke gave me a look as
though he wanted to choke me, and went away, saying: "There is Mr.
Pierpont Morgan, and I can get him to cash it." I saved dad over a
hundred dollars on that scheme, and so we are making money every minute.
We went to our room early, so dad could digest his $43 worth of glad
food.

Gee, but this house got ripped up the back before morning. You remember
I told you about a countess, or a duchess, or some kind of high-up
female that had a room next to our room. Well, she is a beaut, from
Butte, Mont., or Cuba, or somewhere, for she acts like a queen that has
just stepped off her throne for a good time. She has got a French maid
that is a peacharino. You know that horse chestnut, with the prickers
on, that I put in dad's pants at Washington. Well, I have still got it,
and as it gets dry the prickers are sharper than needles, sharper even
than a servant's tooth, as it says in the good book. I thought I would
give dad a run for his money, 'cause exercise and excitement are good
for a man that dined heartily on $43 worth of rich food, so when we went
to our room I told dad that I was satisfied from what a bell boy told
me that the countess in the next room, who had gold cords over her
shoulders for suspenders, was stuck on him, because she was always
inquiring who the lovely old gentleman was with the sweet little boy.
Dad he got so interested that he forgot to cuss me about ordering that
dinner, and he said he had noticed her, and would like real well to get
acquainted with her, 'cause a man far away from home, sick as a dog,
with no loving wife to look after him, needed cheerful company. So I
told him I had it all arranged for him to meet her, and then I went out
in the hall, sort of whistling around, and the French maid came out
and broke some English for me, and we got real chummy, 'cause she was
anxious to learn English, and I wanted to learn some French words; so
she invited me into the room, and we sat on the sofa and exchanged words
quite awhile, until she was called to the telephone in the other room.
Say, you ought to have seen me. I jumped up and put my hand inside
the sheets of the bed, and put that chestnut in there, right about the
middle of the bed, and then, after learning French quite a spell, with
the maid, we heard the countess getting off' the elevator, and the maid
said I must skip, 'cause it was the c