e would have to fire it off, but I
thought when we got outside the bar, into the ocean, his speech would
come up with the rest of the stuff, and I guess it did, for after he
began to be sea sick he had to keep his mouth shut, which was a great
relief to me, for I felt that he would say something that would get this
country in trouble with other nations, as there were lots of foreigners
on board. I heard that J. Pierpont Morgan was on board, and I told
everybody I got in conversation with that dad was Pierpont Morgan, and
when people began to call him Mr. Morgan, I told dad the passengers
thought he was Morgan; the great financier, and it tickled dad, and he
never denied it. Anyway, the captain put dad and I at his own table,
and he called me "Little Pierp," and everybody discussed great financial
questions with dad, and everything would have been lovely the whole
trip, only Morgan came amongst us after he had been sea sick for three
days, and they gave him a seat opposite us, and with two Morgans at the
same table it was a good deal like two Uncle Tom's in an Uncle Tom's
Cabin show, so dad had to stay in his stateroom on account of sickness,
a good deal. Then dad got to walking on deck and flirting with the
female passengers. Say, did you ever see an old man who was stuck on
hisself, and thought that every woman who looked at him, from curiosity,
or because he had a wart on his neck, and watch him get busy making 'em
believe he is a young and kitteny thing, who is irresistible? Gee,
but it makes me tired. No man can mash, and make eyes, and have a love
scene, when he has to go to the rail every few minutes and hump hisself
with something in him that is knocking at the door of his palate, to
come out the same way it went in. Dad found a widow woman who looked
back at him kind of sassy, when he braced up to her, and when the ship
rolled and side-stepped, he took hold of her arm to steady her, and she
said maybe they better sit down on deck and talk it over, so dad found
a couple of steamer chairs that were not in use, and they sat down near
together, and dad took hold of her hand to see if she was nervous, and
he told me I could go any play mumbletypeg in the cabin, and I went in
the cabin and looked out of the window at dad and the widow. Say, you
wouldn't think two chairs could get so close, and dad was sure love
sick, and so was she. The difference between love sick and sea sick is
that in love sick you look red in the f