young woman on the car dad
hauled him over the coals, and scared him so by talking of hanging, and
burning in kerosene oil, that the negro got whiter than your shirt, and
when he got away from dad he came to me and asked if that old man with
the red nose and the gold-headed cane was as dangerous as he talked.
I told him he was my dad, and that he was a walking delegate of the
Amalgamated Association of Negro Lynchers, and when a negro did anything
that he ought to be punished for they sent for dad, and he took charge
of the proceedings and saw that the negro was hanged, and shot, and
burned up plenty. But I told him that dad was crazy on the subject
of giving tips to servants, and he must not fall dead when we got to
Washington if dad gave him a $50 bill, and he must not give back any
change, but just act as though he always got $50 from passengers. Well,
you'd a dide to see that negro brush dad 50 times a day, and bring a
towel every few minutes to wipe off his shoes, but he kept one eye,'
about as big as an onion, on dad all the time, to watch that he didn't
get stabbed. The next morning I took dad's pants from under his pillow,
and hid them in a linen closet, and dad laid in his berth all the
forenoon, and had it out with the porter, whom he accused of stealing
them. The doctors told me I must keep dad interested and excited, so he
would not dwell on his sickness, and I did, sure as you are a foot high.
Dad stood it till almost noon, when he came out of his berth with his
pajamas on, these kind with great blue stripes like a fellow in the
penitentiary, and when he went to the wash room I found his pants
and then he dressed up and swore some at everybody but me. We got to
Washington all right, and I thought I would bust when dad fished out a
nickel and gave it to the porter, and we got out of the car before the
porter came to, and the first day we stayed in the hotel for fear the
negro would see us, as I told dad that porter would round up a gang of
negroes with razors and they would waylay us and cut dad all up into
sausage meat.

[Illustration: Fished out a nickel and gave it to the porter 042]

Dad is the bravest man I ever saw when there is no danger, but when
there is a chance for a row he is weak as a cat. I spect it is on
account of his heart being weak. A man's internal organs are a great
study. I spose a brave man, a hero, has to have all his inside things
working together, to be real up and up brave, but i