RY LYNDON, and speculate grandly.
Take the history of one out of thousands of fortunes made by me for
others:--

A BANK CLERK, hard up, desperately pressed by his duns, had received a
small remittance from his father, a struggling Clergyman. The sum
amounted to L50, just enough to pay the young fellow's bills, and leave
him a paltry sovereign. Do you think he was such a fool as to have read
my Circular in vain? He very wisely brought the money to me. I bought
Boomerangs at 11 3/4. In 57 1/2 hours that young man was a _millionnaire_.
He has magnificent chambers on the Embankment; shows himself in the Row at
the present time; would not look at a cigar under half-a-crown; and has
not entirely forgotten the claims of his family, for to my knowledge he
has remitted several pounds to his younger brothers.--Again I say,

BUY BOOMERANGS OR CHUCKSTERS.

One Word of Caution, and I conclude Circular 1059. BE VERY CAUTIOUS OF
SOME PEOPLE I KNOW. Once trust yourself to them, and it is all
U.P.--Wire immediately (_and send the necessary cover_) to

Yours truly,

ZACH. SPYDUR.

P.S.--When once you have tasted the joys of speculation, you will think
and care for nothing else. The click of the Tape Machine is music to
you. I have one going all night in my bed-room.

* * * * *

SUGGESTION FOR ADVERTISEMENT OF ST. JAMES'S THEATRE.--"_As You Like
It_",--come and see it!

* * * * *

[Illustration: MADAME DIOGENES.]

_Diogenes._ What are these better possessions you speak of?

_Krates._ Wisdom, self-sufficiency, truth, plain-speaking, freedom.

LUCIAN'S _Dialogues of the Dead_.

Ah! Madame La France, after trials all round
Of great Chiefs and their squabbling political progenies,
Like him of Sinope, at last you are found
With lantern in hand, a true Lady Diogenes.
The precinct is dark, and seems growing still dimmer,
Your wandering light shows a devious glimmer.

A right Honest Man? He was scarce in the Courts.
He seems very nearly as scarce in the Caucuses.
You've had leaders of late of all sizes and sorts,
And the gloom of the outlook is utter as Orcus's.
Imperial, Royalist, Red Flag or White,
Not one of them leads La Belle France to the light.

Wisdom, truth and plain-speaking? Ah, where are they found?
As scarce in these days as is genuine freedom!
They all prate of Honour, yet Honour all round
They'll s