in a
so-called Debate, is even more than the national tendency towards
exaggeration illustrated by the Irish mile will excuse. Why couldn't
SEXTON have windbagged on some day of last week? Suppose, for example,
his self-sacrificing friends had made a House for him at a quarter to
nine on Friday night, and he had then talked for three hours and a
quarter?--or on Wednesday there was opportunity; whilst openings might
have been made on Tuesday or Thursday.

"No, TOBY," said SEXTON, when I suggested this in interests of House and
public time, "you're a well-meaning fellow, but you don't understand
everything. You see in debate of this kind all principal men stand off
till the last day. We might have twinkled on several days of last week,
but we prefer to coruscate on last night. Sure of an audience; Whips
out; crowds in; excitement everywhere. I and HARCOURT, and CHAMBERLAIN,
and BALFOUR, all save ourselves for the last night. Can't all speak,
perhaps, especially if I get on first: but they must take their chance.
With the Universe waiting and listening for me, other things and other
people must stand aside. Very serious thing to disappoint the Universe."

So SEXTON, rising at five o'clock, with the windbag conveniently
disposed under arm, pumped and pumped away for two mortal hours, and an
odd three-quarters that seemed more than mortal. GRANDOLPH waiting to
make a speech; ARTHUR BALFOUR longing to be at 'em. Members knowing what
was in store, "expecting," as SHEEHY said, that "every moment would be
his next." But SEXTON flowed on for ever, with aggravating pauses, with
a smile of sublime, unruffled satisfaction, that made the position ten
times as aggravating as it otherwise would have been. To smile and
smile, and play such a villanous trick as this on a suffering House was
worse than most disordered fancy painted.

"If," said ARTHUR BALFOUR, in one of his agonised asides, "the fellow
did not undisguisedly enjoy such supreme happiness, our lot would be
more bearable."

"Never mind," said OLD MORALITY. "Bad enough, I admit. But do you know
why persons are sometimes killed by having a charcoal fire in their
bedrooms? Because the carbon of burning charcoal unites with the oxygen
of air, and forms carbonic acid gas, which is a narcotic poison. So it
is here. SEXTON has got hold of some good points; he is not inapt as a
speaker; if his inordinate vanity had only permitted him to be satisfied
with occupying time of House f