ity
For you to _bid_ your forces scatter _now_.
The troopers two, of curious incongruity,
With the long drummer, and the fifer short,
That formed the old stage-army were more numerous
Than is your following. You have given us sport
In many scenes, but this is hardly humorous.

The general of ARTAXOMINOUS
Was far less terrible than--well, thrasonic.
To tear a thing to tatters, shout and "cuss,"
In an assembly callous and sardonic,
Savours a bit too much of sheer burlesque,
Scarce to the level of fine acting rises.
The unexpected's piquant, picturesque,
But a sound drama is not _all_ surprises.

Thought you had taken to the "Temperance" line,
This looks much more like angry inebriety.
A little freakishness is vastly fine,
But even of surprise there comes satiety.
If you and FUSBOS JENNINGS can't agree,
There seems small prospect of a growing Party,
_Verb. sap._ They thought BOMBASTES dead, you see.
But the _finale_ found him up, and hearty!

* * * * *

[Illustration: "GRANDOLPHO FURIOSO!"

MR. PUNCH. "HULLO, GRANDOLPH! I THOUGHT YOU'D TAKEN TO
'_TEMPERANCE_'!!"]
OUT OF IT.--The Amazons who doff the skirt, and don the, the--other
things, can never be considered in Rotten Row as "_habituees_."

* * * * *

HE CAN'T ALP IT!

"My only desire is to meet you on the terms on which long ago we
stood when you gallantly offered to take me up the
Matterhorn."--_Mr. Gladstone's Letter to Professor Tyndall._

Mr. GLADSTONE _and_ Professor TYNDALL _discovered seated on the edge of
a Crevasse_.

_Mr. Gladstone._ I didn't know a glacier was so frightfully slippery.

_Prof. Tyndall._ Slippery--ha! Like _some_ politicians I might mention!

_Mr. Gladstone._ That last avalanche, too, bowled us over so neatly that
I feel distinctly limp.

_Prof. Tyndall (severely)._ You should try and avoid this "subserviency
to outside influences." I always do.

_Mr. Gladstone (ignoring the remark)._ What range is that over there?

_Prof. Tyndall._ The Pennine Alps, stoopid! From their name they would
seem a suitable residence for a person who scribbles twaddle in
Magazines--ahem! No personal allusion, of course.

_Mr. Gladstone (gaily)._ Of course not! But isn't it rather dangerous
sitting here, with that bank of snow just above us? Suppose it came down
on us!

_Prof. Tyndall._ As the Judges