BAIRD in bed
again, the penalty being two black eyes (no relation to the two that
were lovely), and a cut nose. What's the good of being called GOODE if
you are going to get your eyes gouged out, and be beaten on the head
with a poker, and, in fact worsted all round? But there, if one
gentleman is "slightly intoxicated," while another is "undoubtedly
drunk," and a third is "slightly mixed," there's no knowing what may
happen. Did GOODE "keep his hair on" when he got hit on the head with a
poker? What a beautiful picture of genuine Mayfair manners it is! The
case is still _sub (Punch and) judice_, and Mr. Justice _Punch_ reserves
his decision.

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

_Cassell's Cabinet Portrait Gallery._ In Number One are met together the
Duke and Duchess of FIFE, SARAH BERNHARDT as _Theodora_, and the
Archbishop of CANTERBURY, the last very properly looking another way. In
Vol. II. there is rather a nice one of Mrs. STIRLING and MARY ANDERSON,
but the photographer ought to have been more careful about the little
finger of MARY'S right hand. In Vol. III., JAMES PAYN, reading a
manuscript, with his spectacles up on his forehead, is very good. The
picture of H.R.H. the Prince, in uniform, is too dark, and his
expression is severe. Charming and clever Miss MAUD MILLETT is in Part
IV., followed by the Duke of WESTMINSTER and Mr. LEWIS MORRIS, the Poet
looking so awe-struck, that he must have been taken by surprise, and
been "struck like it." Miss ANNA WILLIAMS leads off No. V., and, to
express it musically, she is accompanied by the Duke of CONNAUGHT. Sir
JAMES LINTON appears for the Water-colourists. In Part VI. the face of
Mr. FRANK LOCKWOOD, Q.C., M.P., is full of light and shade, more light
than shade, fortunately, and it is a really good likeness. The Duchess
of LEINSTER looks lovely, and Sig. PIATTI uncommonly wise as he guards
his 'cello.

Neatly and concisely done is Mr. BESANT'S _Captain Cook_, published in
the MACMILLAN Series of _English Men of Action_. He discovered the
Society Islands, whence, of course, are obtained our present supply of
Society Papers. The natives of these Society Islands made great use of
their Clubs, some of which proved fatal to Captain COOK and his men.

Captain COOK, had he been alive now, would have been among the first to
appreciate _The Pocket Atlas_, in which the names of the chief places
are clear enough for all practical purposes. There