ee
times attempted to murder Count REVENTLOW, who is said to regard
these attempts as being in the worst possible taste.

***

Once again the newspapers have been beaten. It appears that Princess
PATRICIA knew of her engagement some time before the Press announced
it to Her Royal Highness.

***

"We still believe," says the _Koelnische Zeitung_, "that in thought the
German and the Britisher are racially akin." All the same we should
not encourage the Hun to come over here with the idea of making a
spiritual home among his alleged relatives.

***

Charged with drunkenness at the Thames Police Court a man attributed
his condition to the beer habit. It is remarkable how men will cling
to any sort of excuse.

***

Woolwich Arsenal, we are informed, is turning out milk-cans. Can
nothing be done, asks a pacifist, to save our children from the
insidious grip of militarism?

***

Nottinghamshire War Committee states that rat-catchers are now
demanding four pounds a week. Diplomacy, it appears, is the only
branch of British sport that has succeeded in escaping the taint of
professionalism.

***

"Fractious mules," says a correspondent of _The Daily Mail_, "should
not be sent to the country for sale." The playful kind, on the other
hand, that bite and kick from sheer _joie de vivre_, are bound to have
a beneficial effect on the agricultural temperament.

***

A Guildford allotment-holder successfully grew new potatoes for
Christmas-day dinner. All were eaten, it appears, except one, which
was kept to show to the Christmas pudding.

***

There is no truth in the report that Mr. DANIELS, U.S. Secretary for
the Navy, has received a telegram from Mr. WILLIAM RANDOLPH HEARST,
saying, "You furnish the navy and I'll furnish the war."

***

"The Crystal Palace," says. Dean INGE, "is the embodiment of spiritual
emptiness." A determined attempt is to be made to find out what the
Crystal Palace thinks of Dean INGE.

***

Stories of an unsuccessful Candidate in the Midlands, who was heard to
admit that the voters probably preferred his opponent's personality,
must be definitely regarded as apocryphal.

***

Traditions in Scotland die hard. We gather that it is stili considered
unlucky for a red-headed burglar to cross a Scottish threshold on New
Year's Eve.

***

A man at Berne has recently confessed to a murder he commit