lue to grasp the meaning of the words
Which vehemently from thy larynx leap.
How is it that the liquid language runs?
"_Nai_--_soring_--_trif_--_erwonbi_--_aster_--_ferish_--_ip_."

E'en so, methinks, did CLEOPATRA WOO
Her vanquished victor, couched on scented roses,
And PHARAOH from his throne
With more imperious tone
Addressed in some such terms rebellious MOSES;
And esoteric priests in Theban shrines,
Their ritual conned from hieroglyphic signs,
Thus muttered incantations dark and deep
To Isis and Osiris, Thoth and Shu:
"_Nai_--_soring_--_trif_--_erwonbi_--_aster_--_ferish_--_ip_."

In all my youthful studies why was this
Left out? What tutor shall I blame my folly on?
From Sekhet-Hetepu
Return to mortal view,
O shade of BRUGSCH or MARIETTE or CHAMPOLLION;
Expound the message latent in his speech
Or send a clearer medium, I beseech;
For lo! I listen till I almost weep
For anguish at the priceless gems I miss:
"_Nai_--_soring_--_trif_--_erwonbi_--_aster_--_ferish_--_ip_."

To sundry greenish orbs arranged on trays--
Unripe, unluscious fruit--he draws attention.
My mind, till now so dark,
Receives a sudden spark
That glows and flames to perfect comprehension;
And I, whom no Rosetta Stone assists,
Become the peer of Egyptologists,
From whom exotic tongues no secrets keep;
For this is what the alien blighter says:
"Nice orang'; three for one piastre; very cheap."

* * * * *

"Napoleon was crowned Emperor of the French on December 2nd, 1804,
and abdicated in 1914. On December 2nd, 1918, the papers announced
the formal abdication of Wilhelm II. of Germany."--_Kent
Messenger_.

WILHELM probably wishes that he had chosen the same date for his
abdication as NAPOLEON.

* * * * *

When a dear little lady from Lancashire
Came to London to act as a bank cashier,
And asked, "Is it true
1 + 1 = 2?"
They thought they'd revert to a man cashier.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE BABES IN THE WOOD.

THE OLD LIBERAL NURSERY (_moribund but sanguine_). "NO MATTER--A
TIME WILL COME!"]

* * * * *

PARLIAMENTARY CASUALTIES.

Dear Mr. Punch,--I am told that Mr. ASQUITH considers that this
has been a most unsatisfactory election. So do I. As you kno