hair-cutting. I wonder if I am
sufficiently chatty with my hair-cutter. Most men talk to their
hair-cutter all the time. They discuss politics and revolutions and
Britain's unconquerable might, while I, having made a blundering start
with the weather, am brought up with a round turn on the Bolsheviks
and President WILSON'S manner of dealing with the situation. I cannot
lay bare my inmost thoughts about the League of Nations while someone
is running a miniature mowing-machine along the back of my neck ...

At this moment my wife entered the room.

"My dear," I said, "I am going to get my hair cut."

She gave me one mind-piercing look and said, "It's time you did. I've
been noticing it for the last day or two."

Nothing, you see, about convicts. Isn't that like a woman, never to
say the thing you expect her to say? It's taken all the pleasure out
of my visit to the barber. In fact I don't think I shall go at all.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE ENFRANCHISEMENT OF WOMAN.

_First Voter_. "SO MR. JONES HAS BEEN ELECTED. YOU VOTED FOR HIM, OF
COURSE?"

_Second Voter_. "NO, I VOTED FOR THE OTHER MAN. YOU SEE, MR. JONES
SUPPORTED WOMAN'S SUFFRAGE, WHICH I ABHOR."]

* * * * *

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

_(BY MR. PUNCH'S STAFF OF LEARNED CLERICS.)_

_Secrets of the Bosphorus_ (HUTCHINSON) is one of the happily large
number of books to which time and tardy-footed justice have now added
an unwritten chapter that makes amends for all. But for the glories
of the last few months I think I could hardly have borne to read many
of these "revelations" of Mr. HENRY MORGENTHAU, sometime American
Ambassador to Turkey. They make strange and often tragic reading. One
of them is already famous: the disclosure of the narrow margin by
which the attack of the Allied fleets upon the Dardanelles came short
of victory. For that, with all its ghastly sequence of misadventure,
no happy end can quite compensate. But one may read more pleasantly
now of the Prussian Baron WANGENHEIM, sitting the day long on a bench
before his official residence to exult publicly in what looked like
the triumphal march to Paris. Mr. MORGENTHAU has many other matters
of interest in his note-book, a large part of which is occupied by the
story, almost incredible even in an age of horrors, of the planned
slaughter by the Turkish rulers, with Germany as accessory before and
after the act, of "at least 600,00