always followed the architectural fashions. In the late
seventies, when little columns of Aberdeen granite were the rage--you
know the stuff, tastes like marble and looks like brawn--I went in for
them hot and strong, and every building I touched turned to potted
meat. Then SHAW came along--BERNARD, was it? no, NORMAN--with his red
brick and gables, and I got so keen that I moved to Bedford Park to
catch the full flavour of it.

"Next, the Ingle-nooker's found in me a willing disciple. I designed
rows of houses, all roofs and no chimneys, or all chimneys and no
roofs, it didn't matter which so long as there was an ingle-nook with
a motto over it. Why, after a time I got so expert that I simply
designed an ingle-nook and the rest seemed to grow by itself.

"Just as the War started I had broken out in another place and was
getting into my Italian loggia-pergola-and-sunk-garden stride, and
then came the five-hundred pound limit and busted the whole show. In
fact, when you called I was wondering whether to chuck the business
and go in for writing cinema plays."

"When I want a really fashionable house built for me," said
Carruthers, "I shall certainly come to you."

"Ah," I said, "you have come to see me then on behalf of a friend?"

"On behalf," he said, "of several friends."

My chest swelled visibly. "This man," I said to myself, while reaching
for my Corona Coronas, "is planning a garden city, or at least a group
of houses on the communal plan."

"The fact is," said Carruthers, clearing his throat, "I am a
scout-master, and my troop are collecting wastepaper, and I expect
you have any amount of old plans and things that you--"

I was just in time to save the cigar.

* * * * *

[Illustration: "I HEAR YOUR HUSBAND IS HOME FROM FRANCE. IS THE ARMY
GOING TO RELEASE HIM?"

"WELL, 'E'S GOT A FORTNIGHT BEFORE HE GOES BACK, BUT BY THAT TIME 'E
'OPES TO BE DEMORALISED."]

* * * * *

FRUITS OF VICTORY.

["Unlimited lard may now be purchased without coupon."--_Daily
Paper_.]

Swiftly the shadow of William the Hun
Fades from the fields that our valour has won;
Totter the thrones of our many Controllers,
Freedom is coming to man and his molars:
Doomed is the coupon and doomed is the card,
With all the embargos that hit us so hard;
Now we may purchase unlimited lard.

Soon will the mud-spattered soldier be free;
Soon will t