at is the Atlantic? Is it a herb?' I'll bet my
soul they're in their billets at this moment, MacTavish mugging up
some stable-patter out of NAT GOULD, and Blenkinsop imbibing a dose
of ship-chatter from 'BARTIMEUS.' They'll come in for food presently,
MacTavish doing what he imagines to be a 'cavalry-roll,' tally-hoing
at the top of his voice, and Blenkinsop weaving his walk like the
tough old sea-dog he isn't, ship a-hoying and avasting for dear life."

"They're both going on leave with you to-morrow, aren't they?" I
asked.

Albert Edward nodded.

"Then their game is up," said I.

Albert Edward's brow crinkled. "I don't quite get you."

"My dear old fool," said I, "it's blowing great guns now. With the
leave-packet doing the unbusted broncho act for two hours on end it
shouldn't be very difficult to separate the sheep from the goat, the
true-blue sailor from the pea-green lubber, should it? They may be
able to bluff each other, but not the silvery Channel in mid-winter."

Albert Edward slapped his knee and laughed aloud.

* * * * *

They all came back from England last night. I lost no time in
cornering Albert Edward.

"Well, everything worked just as I prophesied, didn't it?" said I.
"With the first buck the old boat gave Blenkinsop tottered to the
rail and--"

Albert Edward shook his head.

"No, he didn't. He ate a pound of morphia and lay in the Saloon
throughout sleeping like a little child."

"But MacTavish?" I stammered.

"Oh, MacTavish," said Albert Edward--"MacTavish took an emetic."

PATLANDER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: RECONSTRUCTION SHOCKS.

_Pianist (accompanying celebrated prima donna at classical concert
after three years of sing-songs in Army huts)_. "NOW THEN, BOYS! DROWN
HER WELL IN THE CHORUS!"]

* * * * *

COMMERCIAL CANDOUR.

"The post-war ---- will be the one car from which the owner with
moderate ideas can obtain the minimum amount of genuine pleasure
and satisfaction."--_Advt. in Trade Paper_.

* * * * *

From an account of a film-drama:--

"Horrified at his pseudanimity she agrees to the
deception,"--_Provincial Paper_.

It sounds rather pusillonymous.

* * * * *

MUSICAL GOSSIP.

We are semi-officially informed on the best authority that the
undermentioned nominations--some of which h