s cut out for a bunko
steerer, and I may look for that kind of a job. Pa he is a terror since he
got to drinking again. He came home the other day, when the minister was
calling on Ma, and just cause the minister was sitting on the sofa with
Ma, and had his hand on her shoulder, where she said the pain was when the
rheumatiz came on, Pa was mad and told the minister he would kick his
liver clear around on the other side if he caught him there again, and Ma
felt awful about it. After the minister had gone away, Ma told Pa he had
got no feeling at all, and Pa said he had got enough feeling for one
family, and he didn't want no sky-sharp to help him. He said he could cure
all the rheumatiz there was around the house, and then he went down town
and didn't get home till most breakfast time. Ma says she thinks I am
responsible for Pa's falling into bad ways again, and now I am going to
cure him. You watch me, and see if I don't have Pa in the church in less
than a week, praying and singing, and going home with the choir singers,
just as pious as ever. I am going to get a boy that writes a woman's hand
to write to Pa, and--but I must not give it away. But you just watch Pa,
that's all. Well, I must go and saw some wood. It is coming down a good
deal, from a drug clerk to sawing wood, but I will get on top yet, and
don't you forget it."

GIVE US WAR!

We are in receipt of a circular from the American peace society,
requesting us to leave a sum of money, in our will, to the society to be
applied to the interest of peace. We are opposed to peace, on such terms.
Give us war, every time.

THE FIRE NEW YEAR'S DAY.

If there is anything the young men of Rescue Hose Company pride themselves
upon, it is in getting themselves up, regardless of expense, on New Year's
day, and calling upon their lady friends. On Monday last these young men
arrayed themselves in their best clothes and sat around in stores and
waited for the time to go calling. Solomon in all his glory, was not
arrayed like one of these firemen.

[Illustration: SWALLOW-TAILS ON THE CLIMB.]

Just as the young gentlemen were about throwing away their last cigar at
noon, preparatory to calling at the first place on the list, the fire-bell
rang, and there was a lively procession followed the steamer down Fourth
street in a few minutes. It looked as though a wedding had been broken up
and bridegrooms were running around loose. The party arrived at the scene
of the fir