ling for. By crimus, this thing has got to
stop. You have got to move out of this ward or I will."

The boy got his breath and said it wasn't him that put the cat up there.
He said it was the policeman, and he and his chum saw him do it, and he
just come in to tell the grocery man about it, and before he could speak
he had his neck nearly pulled off. The boy began to cry, and the grocery
man said he was only joking, and gave him a box of sardines, and they made
up. Then he asked the boy how his Pa put in his New Years, and the boy
sighed and said:

"We had a sad time at our house New Years. Pa insisted on making calls,
and Ma and me tried to prevent it, but he said he was of age, and guessed
he could make calls if he wanted to, so he looked at the morning paper and
got the names of all the places where they were going to receive, and he
turned his paper collar, and changed ends with his cuffs, and put some
arnica on his handkerchief, and started out. Ma told him not to
drink anything, and he said he wouldn't, but he did. He was full the third
place he went to. O, so full. Some men can get full and not show it, but
when Pa gets full, he gets so full his back teeth float, and the liquor
crowds his eyes out, and his mouth gets loose and wiggles all over his
face, and he laughs all the time, and the perspiration just oozes out of
him, and his face gets red, and he walks so wide. O, he disgraced us all.
At one place he wished the hired girl 'a happy new year' more than twenty
times, and hung his hat on her elbow, and tried to put on a rubber hall
mat for his over shoes. At another place he walked up a lady's train, and
carried away a card basket full of bananas and oranges. Ma wanted my chum
and me to follow Pa and bring him home, and about dark we found him in the
door yard of a house where they have statues in front of the house, and he
grabbed me by the arm, and mistook me for another caller, and insisted on
introducing me to a marble statue without any clothes on. He said it was a
friend of his, and it was a winter picnic. He hung his hat on an
evergreen, and put his overcoat on the iron fence, and I was so mortified
I almost cried. My chum said if his Pa made such a circus of himself he
would sand bag him. That gave me an idea, and when we got Pa most home I
went and got a paper box covered with red paper, so it looked just like a
brick, and a bottle of tomato ketchup, and when we got Pa up on the steps
at home I hit hi