said the prescription would be five dollars, the
same as though there had been somebody sick.

But the doc. had cheek. Just as he was leaving he asked the bridegroom if
he didn't want to ride up to Ashland with him, it was only eighteen miles,
and the ride would be lonesome, but the bride said not if the court knew
herself, and the bridegroom said now he was there he guessed he would
stay. He said he didn't care much about going to Ashland anyway.

COMFORTING COMPENSATIONS.

If a farmer's wheat is killed by rain, he is consoled by the fact that
rain is just what his corn needs. If his cattle die of disease, his
consolation lies in the hope that pork will bring a good price. If boys
steal his watermelons, he knows by experience that they will have the
cholera morbus. So everything that is unpleasant has its compensation.

LAY UP APPLES IN HEAVEN.

[Illustration: NO MORE APPLES FOR THE MINISTER.]

They tell a good story at Portage City, at the expense of Senator Barden,
or a minister, we don't know which. Barden had a lot of apples sent him
last fall, and he was anxious to sell them, before winter set in. One day
he thought of a new minister that had settled in Portage, so he made up
his mind to take him up a couple of barrels, supposing that when he went
to heaven and saw the big ledger opened, there would be a credit about as
follows:

L.W. BARDEN,
in acc't with Providence,

1876.
Oct. 21. By two bbls. apples, @ $3 $6.00
" " " drayage .30
-----
Total $6.30

Barden loaded them on a dray, and got on it, with his pants in
his boots, and went up to deliver them himself. He stopped at the
minister's gate, and hurried the apples off and rolled them inside the
gate, and tried to get away before the minister had time to thank him.
Just as he was about to drive away the door opened and the man of God came
out, and says he:

"Look here! You put them apples in the cellar!"

Barden told him he was in something of a hurry, and really he could not
spare the time. The minister raised his voice to a sort of "auction
pitch," and said:

"Here, now. You don't know your business, Mr. Drayman. You roll them
apples into the cellar, or I won't accept them."

The senator was by this time as mad as senators usually get. He jumped off
the dray, threw the two barre