idea about coal stoves that will bring him
several million dollars, if he gets a royalty of five dollars on every
cook stove in the world. His idea is to have a coal stove on castors with
the pipe made to telescope out and in, and rubber hose for one joint, so
you can pull the stove all around the room and warm any particular place.
Well, sir, to hear Pa tell about it, you would think it would
revolutionize the country, and maybe it will when he gets it perfected,
but he came near burning the house up, and scared us half to death this
morning, and burned his shirt off, and he is all covered with cotton with
sweet oil on, and he smells like salad dressing.

"You see Pa had a pipe made and some castors put on our coal stove, and he
tied a rope to the hearth of the stove, and had me put in some kindling
wood and coal last night, so he could draw the stove up to the bed and
light the fire without getting up. Ma told him he would put his foot in
it, and he told her to dry up, and let him run the stove
business. He said it took a man with brain to run a patent right, and Ma
she pulled the clothes over her head and let Pa do the fire act. She has
been building the fires for twenty years, and thought she would let Pa see
how good it was. Well, Pa pulled the stove to the bed, and touched off the
kindling wood. I guess maybe I got a bundle of kindling wood that the
hired girl had put kerosene on, cause it blazed up awful and smoked, and
the blaze bursted out the doors and windows of the stove, and Pa yelled
fire, and I jumped out of bed and rushed in and he was the scartest man
you ever see, and you'd a dide to see how he kicked when I threw a pail of
water on his legs and put his shirt out. Ma did not get burned, but she
was pretty wet, and she told Pa she would pay five dollars royalty on that
stove and take the castors off and let it remain stationary. Pa says he
will make it work if he burns the house down. I think it was real mean in
Pa to get mad at me because I threw cold water on him instead of warm
water, to put his shirt out. If I had waited till I could heat water to
the right temperature I would have been an orphan and Pa would have been a
burnt offering. But some men always kick at everything. Pa has given up
business entirely and says he shall devote the remainder of his life
curing himself of the different troubles that I get him into. He has
retained a doctor by the year, and he buys liniment by the gallon.

"What