ter are
going down some night to "do" the watering place). Then you can swell
around till half past ten, and sneak off to the depot on foot and come
home, and your pocket book will be just as empty as when you started,
unless you get a subscriber, and you will have added bloom to your cheek,
and had a high old time, and next winter you can talk about the delightful
time you passed at Sparta last summer during the heated term.

Let's get up a party and go down some night.

WHAT THE COUNTRY NEEDS.

What the country needs is a melon from which the incendiary ingredients
have been removed. It seems to me that by proper care, when the melon is
growing on the vines, the cholera morbus can be decreased, at least, the
same as the cranberry has been improved, by cultivation. The experiment of
planting homeopathic pills in the hill with the melon has been tried, but
homeopathy, while perhaps good in certain cases, does not seem to reach
the seat of disease in the watermelon. What I would advise, and the advice
is free to all, is that a porous plaster be placed upon watermelons, just
as they are begining to ripen, with a view to draw out the cholera morbus.
A mustard plaster might have the same effect, but the porous plaster seems
to me to be the article to fill a want long felt. If, by this means, a
breed of watermelon can be raised that will not strike terror to the heart
of the consumer, this agricultural address will not have been delivered in
vain.

THE MAN FROM DUBUQUE.

Last week, a young man from the country west of here came in on the
evening train and walked up to Grand avenue, with a fresh looking young
woman hanging on to one handle of a satchel while he held the other. They
turned into the Plankinton House, and with a wild light in his eye the man
went to the book and registered his name and that of the lady with him.

While the clerk was picking out a couple of rooms that were near together,
the man looked around at the colored man who had the satchel, and as the
clerk said, "Show the gentleman to No 65 and the lady to 67," he said,
"Hold on, 'squire! One room will do."

On being shown to the room, the bridegroom came right out with the bell
boy and appeared at the office. Picking out a benevolent looking
gentleman, with a good place to raise hair on his head, who was behind the
counter, the groom said:

"Say, can a man enjoy religion in this house?"

Mr. White said a man could if he brought it with him