ave done it, don't you sis? Why, bless you, that
toggery would be heaven compared to what a man has to contend with. Take a
woman and put a pair of men's four shilling drawers on her that are so
tight that when they get damp, from perspiration, sis, they stick so you
can't cross your legs without an abrasion of the skin, the buckle in the
back turning a somersault and sticking its points into your spinal
meningitis; put on an undershirt that draws across the chest so you feel
as though you must cut a hole in it, or two, and which is so short that it
works up under your arms, and allows the starched upper shirt to sand
paper around and file off the skin until you wish it was night, the tail
of which will not stay tucked more than half a block, though you tuck, and
tuck, and tuck; and then fasten a collar made of sheet zinc, two sizes too
small for you, around your neck, put on vest and coat, and liver pad and
lung pad and stomach pad, and a porous plaster, and a chemise shirt
between the two others, and rub on some liniment, and put a bunch of keys
and a jack-knife and a button hook, and a pocket-book and a pistol and a
plug of tobacco in your pockets, so they will chafe your person,
and then go and drink a few whiskey cocktails, and walk around in the sun
with tight boots on, sis, and then you will know what a man's dress is.

Come to figure it up, it is about an even thing, sis,--isn't it?

THOSE STEP LADDERS!

There has got to be a law passed to punish the hardware dealers for
selling those step ladders that shut up like a jack-knife. A Ninth Street
woman got onto one the other afternoon when it looked as though there was
going to be a frost, to take her ivies down and carry them in the house.
We don't care how handsome a woman is naturally, you put a towel around
her head and put her up on a step ladder about seven feet high, with a
tomahawk in her left hand, trying to draw a big nail out of a post on a
veranda, and she looks like thunder. This woman did. Her husband tried to
get her to let him do the work, but she said a man never knew how to do
anything, anyway. So he sat down on the steps to see how it would turn
out. She said afterwards that he kicked the ladder, but however that may
be, there was an earthquake, and when he looked up the air was filled with
calico, toweling, striped stockings, polonaise, trailing arbutus, red
petticoats, store hair and step ladder. He said the step ladder struck the
veranda la