s unless something was done immediately. The judge
turned pale, the sweat poured out of him, and taking out his purse he gave
the doctor five dollars and asked him what he should do. The doctor felt
his pulse, looked at his tongue, listened at his heart, shook his head,
and then told the judge that he would be a dead man in less than sixty
years if he didn't change his shoes.

The judge looked down at the vast expanse of leather, both sections
pointing inwardly, and said, "Well, dam a fool," and "changed cars" at the
junction. As he got them on the right feet, and hired a raftsman to tie
them up for him, he said he would get even with the doctor if he had to
catch the small pox. O, we suppose they have more fun in some of these
country towns than you can shake a stick at.

WE WILL CELEBRATE.

With so many new holidays, and so many new people, it is hardly to be
wondered at that the day of all days, the day that should be dearest to
the heart of every American, is in danger of being passed over in silence,
and were it not for the fire cracker, that begins to get in its work about
the first of June, in many instances this Anniversary of American
Independence would be passed without the customary mouth shootzen-fest
from alleged orators, but when the small boy begins to stir around and
clandestinely look down the muzzle of the always loaded fire cracker, the
patriotism of the boys still begins to assert itself, the old man's eyes
begin to snap, and he talks to his neighbor about how they used to
celebrate when he was a boy, the stuff begins to work over the
neighborhood, the village catches it, the country begins.

DOGS AND HUMAN BEINGS!

Lorillard, the New York tobacco man, had a poodle dog stolen, and has
offered a reward of five hundred dollars for the arrest of the thief, and
he informs a reporter that he will spend $10,000, if necessary, for the
capture and conviction of the thief. [Applause.]

The applause marked in there will be from human skye terriers, who have
forgotten that only a few weeks ago several hundred girls, who had been
working in Lorillard's factory, went on a strike because as they allege,
they were treated like dogs. We doubt if they were treated as well as this
poodle was treated. We doubt, in case one of these poor, virtuous girls
was kidnapped, if the great Lorillard would have offered as big a reward
for the conviction of the human thief, as he has for the conviction of the
person who