were sort of wilted and fell limp by
his side, and he fell over on his stomach. You talk about spreading the
gospel in heathen lands. It is nothing to the way you can spread it with
two quarts of soft soap. The minister didn't look pious a bit, when he was
trying to catch the railing he looked as though he wanted to
murder every man on earth, but it may be he was tired.

"Well, Pa he was paralyzed, and he and the other deacon rushed out to pick
up the minister and the first old man, and when they struck the steps they
went kiting. Pa's feet somehow slipped backwards, and he turned a
summersault and struck full length on his back, and one heel was across
the minister's neck, and he slid down the steps, and the other deacon fell
all over the other three, and Pa swore at them, and it was the worst
looking lot of pious people I ever saw. I think if the minister had been
in the woods somewhere, where nobody could have heard him, he would have
used language. They all seemed mad at each other. The hired girl told Ma
there was three tramps out on the sidewalk fighting Pa, and Ma she took
the broom and started to help Pa, and I tried to stop Ma, 'cause her
constitution is not very strong and I didn't want her to do any flying
trapeze business, but I couldn't stop her, and she went out with the broom
and a towel tied around her head. Well, I don't know where Ma did strike,
but when she came in she said she had palpitation of the heart, but that
was not the place where she put the arnica. O, but she _did_ go through
the air like a bullet through cheese, and when she went down the steps
a-bumpity-bump, I felt sorry for Ma. The minister had got so he could set
up on the sidewalk, with his back against the lower step, when Ma came
sliding down, and one of the heels of her gaiters hit the minister in the
hair, and the other foot went right through between his arm and his side,
and the broom liked to pushed his teeth down his throat. But he was not
mad at Ma. As soon as he see it was Ma he said, 'Why, sister, the wicked
stand in slippery places, don't they?' and Ma she was mad and said for him
to let go her stocking, and then Pa was mad and he said, 'look-a-here you
sky-pilot, this thing has gone far enough,' and then a policeman
came along and first he thought they were all drunk, but he found they
were respectable, and he got a chip and scraped the soap off of them, and
they went home, and Pa and Ma they got in the house some way, and