at girl and Pa.
Pa looked at me as if I was a total stranger, and told the porter if that
freckled faced boot-black belonged around the house he had better be fired
out of the ball room, and the girl said 'the disgustin' thing!' and just
before they fired me I told Pa he had better look out or he would sweat
through his liver pad.

"I went to bed and Pa staid up till the lights were put out. He was mad
when he came to bed, but he didn't kick me, cause the people in the next
room would hear him, but the next morning he talked to me. He said I might
go back home Sunday night, and he would stay a day or two. He sat around
on the veranda all the afternoon, talking with the girls, and when he
would see me coming along he would look cross. He took a girl out boat
riding, and when I asked him if I couldn't go along, he said he was afraid
I would get drowned, and he said if I went home there was nothing there
too good for me, and so my chum and me got to firing bottles of champagne,
and he hit me in the eye with a cork, and I drove him out doors
and was just going to shell his earth works, when the policeman collared
me. Say, what's good for a black eye?"

The grocery man told him his Pa would cure it when he got home. "What do
you think your Pa's object was in passing himself off for a single man at
Oconomowoc?" asked the grocery man, as he charged up the cucumber to the
boy's father.

"That's what beats me. Aside from Ma's hay fever she is one of the
healthiest women in this town. O, I suppose he does it for his health, the
way they all do when they go to a summer resort, but it leaves a boy an
orphan, don't it, to have such kitteny parents?"

SURE OF HEAVEN.

The only persons that are real sure that their calling and election is
sure, and that they are going to heaven across lots, are the men who are
hung for murder. They always announce that they have got a dead thing on
it, just before the drop falls. How encouraging it must be to children to
listen to the prayers of our ministers in churches, who admit that they
are miserable sinners, living on God's charity, and doubtful if they would
be allowed to sit at His right hand, and as they tell the story of their
own unworthiness the tears trickle down their cheeks. Then let the
children read an account of a hanging bee, and see how happy the condemned
man is, how he shouts glory hallelujah, and confesses that, though he
killed his man, he is going to heaven. A child wil