e
nails for his little baby, and he laughed. He fell over a dining room
chair, and sat down in another, and when he got up he felt that
though he was not proud, he was stuck up, for on his night shirt was a
sticky fly paper that had been placed in readiness to catch the unwary
early fly. After peeling off the sticky paper, and subterraneously
swearing a neat, delicate little female swear, he groped to the cellar
door, and began to go down.

[Illustration: THE STARTLED CAT.]

Now, if there is anything a boy ought to be punished for, it is for
surreptitiously eating a large slice of musk melon and leaving the rind on
the top stair. It tends to make a boy disliked. The head of the family
stepped with his bare feet on the piece of melon, and sat down so quick
that it made his head swim. It made him swim all over, and under, and
everywhere. But if he sat down soon, he got up sooner. If there is one
thing that a house cat should be taught, it is to sleep elsewhere than on
the top stair. When he fell and struck the sleeping cat there was a
crisis. He took in the situation at once. An occasional disengaged feline
toe nail, and a squall, told him in burning words that, while his title to
the seat was contested, it would be impolitic to wait for a commission of
unbiased judges to decide which was entitled to it. His opponent was
armed, and had possession, and he felt that it would tend to prevent riot
and bloodshed if he quietly gave up. But he felt that while in his present
position the cat was comparatively harmless, if he attempted to rise she
would bring the whole army and navy into action, and perhaps cripple his
resources. So he decided to jump up in a hurry before the cat had time to
think of her toe nails much. His position was not pleasant, to say the
least, but he jumped up in a hurry, hoping the cat would remain and
continue her nap. She was not a remaining cat and as soon as his weight
was removed from her person, she gave a yell as though frightened, and
began to walk up and down his legs, inside of his night shirt.
The question as to how many toe nails a cat has got, has never been
decided, but he says they have a million, and he can show the documents to
prove it. She went up him as though he was a fence post, and a dog after
her, and he flew around as though his linen was on fire, and yelled until
his wife came down to see what was the matter. By unbuttoning the top
button the cat was coaxed out, under protest ho