en, when he proceeded to divide
as follows: One-half, or nine to the eldest, one third, or six, to the
next son, and one-ninth, or two, to the youngest. Adding up nine, six,
two, he found that it made seventeen, so he hitched up his mule and
went home rejoicing.--_Ladies Home Journal_.

"Now, Harold," said the teacher, "if there were eleven sheep in a
field and six jumped the fence how many would there be left?"

"None," replied Harold.

"Why, but there would," said she.

"No, ma'am, there wouldn't," persisted he. "You may know arithmetic,
but you don't know sheep."

One day, as Pat halted at the top of the river-bank, a man famous for
his inquisitive mind stopped and asked:

"How long have you hauled water for the village, my good man?"

"Tin years, sor."

"Ah, how many loads do you take in a day?"

"From tin to fifteen, sor."

"Ah, yes! Now I have a problem for you. How much water at this rate
have you hauled in all?"

The driver of the watering-cart jerked his thumb backward toward the
river and replied:

"All the water yez don't see there now, sor."

ARMIES

A sentry was giving close attention to his post in the neighborhood of
a British army camp in England, challenging returning stragglers late
after dark. The following is reported as an incident to his vigil:

"Who goes there?" called the sentry at the sound of approaching
footsteps.

"Coldstream Guards!" was the response.

"Pass, Coldstream Guards!" rejoined the sentry.

"Who goes there?" again challenged the sentry.

"Forty-ninth Highlanders!" returned the unseen pedestrian.

"Pass, Forty-ninth Highlanders!"

"Who goes there?" sounded a third challenge.

"None of your d--n business!" was the husky reply.

"Pass, Canadians!" acquiesced the sentry.

_Things in the Army that_

_Increase_ _Decrease_
Your appetite. Your surplus fat.
Your respect for the flag. Your self-conceit.
Your love for your mother. Your fastidiousness.
Your promptness. Your selfishness.
Your democracy. Your carelessness.
Your feet. Your finances.

A few soldiers belonging to part of a Swiss regiment in garrison at
Basel went to a certain cafe for refreshments. One of them sat down
alone at a table. Later a civilian, a German, joined him and the two
began to talk war politics. "Would you shoot on the Germans if they
invaded Switzerland?