ne see de funniest thing t'day."

"How come, niggah?"

"I seed an ottermobile with its reah license B--4."

"Say, bo, doan hand me no truck lak that."--_Judge_.

The only trouble with a 60-horse-power motor is that every darned
horse balks at the same time.

BILL--"Just happened to run into an old friend down-town."

PHIL--"Was he glad to see you?"

BILL--"You bet not. I smashed his whole right fender."

"My brother bought a motor here last week," said an angry man to the
salesman that stepped up to greet him, "and he said if anything broke
you would supply him with new parts."

"Certainly," said the salesman. "What does he want?"

"He wants two deltoid muscles, a couple of kneecaps, one elbow, and
about half a yard of cuticle," said the man, "and he wants them at
once."

An elderly lady of very prim and severe aspect was seated next a young
couple, who were discussing the merits of their motor-cars.

"What color is your body?" asked the young man of the girl at his
side, meaning of course, the body of her motor.

"Oh, mine is pink. What is yours?"

"Mine," replied the man, "is brown with wide yellow stripes."

This was too much for the old lady. Rising from the table, she
exclaimed:

"When young people come to asking each other the color of their bodies
at a dinner-party, it is time I left the room."

"Why didn't you stop when I signaled you?" inquired the officer.

"Well," replied Mr. Chuggins, "it had taken me two hours to get this
old flivver started, and it seemed a shame to stop her merely to avoid
a little thing like being arrested."

_Who Can Tell?_

Dear Sirs,--About the engine. Well,
We write to let you know
We've waded through the booklet on
"What Makes the Engine Go."
It took us close on half a day
To read through all the guff;
The engine goes all right, but don't
Keep goin' long enough.
It's very good to understand
What makes the engine go.
But why the deuce the d--- thing stops
Is what we want to know.
So now we're making this request,
While tears and curses drop,
Please send along a booklet on
What Makes the Engine Stop.
The folk around here all await
With interest your reply:
To them the reasons why she goes
Don't seem to signify.
So while we wait and chew the cud
Don't let the matter flop;
For Gawd's sake write and let us know
What makes the blighter stop.

_See also_ Fords; Garages; Horses; R