FREE BOOKS

Author's List




PREV.   NEXT  
|<   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   49  
50   51   52   53   54   55   56   57   58   59   60   61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   69   70   71   72   73   74   >>   >|  
g or queen either disna ganga to bed wi' a croon on their head. He'd hae kent they hang it over the back o' a chair." HOSTESS--"I sometimes wonder, Mr. Highbrow, if there is anything vainer than you authors about the things you write." HIGHBROW--"There is, madam; our efforts to sell them." "No," said the honest man, "I was never strong at literature. To save my life I could not tell you who wrote 'Gray's Elegy.'" HENLEY--"How are you getting on with your writing for the magazines?" PENLEY--"Just holding my own. They send me back as much as I send them." Wouldn't it be pleasant if so many authors didn't: Let their characters converse for hours without any identification tags, so that you have to turn back three pages and number off odd speeches in order to find out who's talking. Overwork the "smart" atmosphere, the suspension points and the seasonal epidemics of such words as "gripping," "virile," "intrigue," "gesture," etc. Stick up a periscope every now and then, like, "Little did he think how dearly this trifling error was to cost him," or "She was to meet this man again, under strange circumstances." Apply a large hunk of propaganda, like an ice bag, just where the plot ought to rush ahead. EDITOR--"Historically, this story is incorrect." AUTHOR--"But hysterically it is one of the best things I have ever done." A man who was a great admirer of Mark Twain was visiting in Hannibal, Mo. He asked the darkey who was driving him about if he knew where Huckleberry Finn lived. "No sah, I never heard of the gemmen." Then he said "Then perhaps you knew Tom Sawyer?" "No, sah, I never met the gemmen." "But surely you have heard of Puddin'head Wilson?" "Yes, sah, I've never met him, but I've voted for him twice." AUTHORSHIP TED--"I was tempted to read his book by the advertisements, but I was disappointed." NED--"That's only natural. The advertisements are better written than the book." AUTOMOBILE TOURISTS "Why do you turn out for every road hog that comes along?" said the missus, rather crossly. "The right of way is ours, isn't it?" "Oh, undoubtedly!" answered he, calmly. "As for our turning out, the reason is plainly suggested in this epitaph which appeared in a newspaper recently: "Here lies the body of William Jay, Who died maintaining his right of way; He was right, dead right, as he sped along, But he's just as dead as if he'd been wro
PREV.   NEXT  
|<   25   26   27   28   29   30   31   32   33   34   35   36   37   38   39   40   41   42   43   44   45   46   47   48   49  
50   51   52   53   54   55   56   57   58   59   60   61   62   63   64   65   66   67   68   69   70   71   72   73   74   >>   >|  



Top keywords:
advertisements
 

gemmen

 

authors

 

things

 

propaganda

 
EDITOR
 
driving
 

admirer

 

hysterically

 

visiting


incorrect

 
Huckleberry
 

darkey

 

Hannibal

 

AUTHOR

 

Historically

 

reason

 

turning

 

plainly

 

suggested


epitaph
 

calmly

 

undoubtedly

 
answered
 
appeared
 
newspaper
 
maintaining
 

recently

 

William

 

crossly


tempted

 
disappointed
 

AUTHORSHIP

 

Puddin

 

surely

 
Wilson
 

missus

 

TOURISTS

 

natural

 
written

AUTOMOBILE

 

Sawyer

 

honest

 
strong
 

literature

 

PENLEY

 

holding

 

magazines

 

writing

 
HENLEY