ir.'"

"'Could you perhaps tell me something that is in it?'"

"'I could tell you everything that's in it.'"

"'Indeed,' and the minister smiled. 'Do tell me, then.'"

"'Sister's beau's photo is in it,' said little Eve, promptly, 'and
ma's recipe for vanishin' cream is in it, and a lock of my hair cut
off when I was a baby is in it, and the ticket for pa's watch is in
it.'"

"Bobby, do you know you've deliberately broken the eighth commandment
by stealing James's candy?"

"Well, I thought I might as well break the eighth commandment and have
the candy as to break the tenth and only 'covet' it."--_Life_.

"I thought you were preaching, Uncle Bob," said the Colonel, to whom
the elderly negro had applied for a job.

"Yessah, Ah wuz," replied Uncle; "but Ah guess Ah ain't smaht enough
to expound de Scriptures. Ah almost stahved to deff tryin' to explain
de true meanin' uv de line what says 'De Gospel am free.' Dem fool
niggahs thought dat it meant dat Ah wuzn't to git no salary."

The college boys played a mean trick on "Prexy" by pasting some of
the leaves of his Bible together. He rose to read the morning lesson,
which might have been as follows:

"Now Johial took unto himself a wife of the daughters of Belial." (He
turned a leaf.) "She was eighteen cubits in height and ten cubits in
breadth." (A pause and careful scrutiny of the former page.)

He resumed: "Now Johial took unto himself a wife," etc. (Leaf turned.)
"She was eighteen cubits in height and ten cubits in breadth, and was
pitched within and without--" (Painful pause and sounds of subdued
mirth.) "Prexy" turns back again in perplexity.

"Young gentlemen, I can only add that 'Man is fearfully and
wonderfully made'--and woman also."

_See also_ Drinking.

BIGAMY

_The Bugamist._

A June bug married an angleworm;
An accident cut her in two.
They charged the bug with bigamy;
Now what could the poor thing do?

--_Punch Bowl_.

A tariff expert of Kansas City said in a recent address:

"The average tariff argument is amusing in its ignorance. It reminds
me of a certain Kansas City police court.

"A policeman rose in this court to testify against a prisoner.

"'Wot's this here feller charged with?' the magistrate demanded.

"'Bigotry, judge,' the police answered. 'He's got three wives.'

"'Three!' cried the magistrate. 'Why, you ignoramus, that ain't
bigotry. That's trigonometry!'"

"I left