tradesmen live on credit.
It's "Oof"--to earn it, or to wed it.

* * * * *

PROFESSOR JOLLY, of Berlin, who, if his name express his disposition,
ought to be a follower of _Mark Tapley_, reckons that twenty-five per
cent. of the inmates of asylums have been inebriates. Is the Professor
"Jolly well right?"

* * * * *

A DIALOGUE OF THE FUTURE.

SCENE--_Rooms of a Cambridge Tutor._

PERSONS--_A Tutor and an Undergraduate._

_Tutor_. I understand you were at Newmarket yesterday. Is that so?

_Undergraduate_. It is. I was.

[Illustration]

_Tutor_. A shameless avowal. Are you aware that you have broken one of
the disciplinary regulations of your College? I fear I must punish you
severely. Have you anything to say why sentence should not be passed
upon you. [_Assumes the black College Cap._

_Undergraduate_. Yes, Sir, I have.

_Tutor_. Then say it at once.

_Undergraduate_. I went to Newmarket to see-- [_Hesitates._

_Tutor_. Proceed, Sir. Time presses. You went to see what?

_Undergraduate_. As a matter of fact, I was particularly anxious to
see the Head of the University.

_Tutor_. What do you mean, Sir?

_Undergraduate_. The chief Dignitary of Cambridge, the Chancellor, the
Duke of DEVONSHIRE.

_Tutor_. You are trifling with me.

_Undergraduate_. Not at all, Sir. The Chancellor was there in state. I
saw him. My curiosity was satisfied, and I returned to Cambridge.

_Tutor_ (_after a pause_). Ah, of course that alters the case. If you
can assure me you did not go for the purpose of watching horse-races--

_Undergraduate_ (_breaking in_). Certainly, Sir. I do give you the
assurance.

_Tutor_. That being so, I dismiss you with a caution.

[_Exit Undergraduate. The Tutor is left pondering._

* * * * *

ANOTHER RURAL CONFERENCE.

[A Church Dignitary, writing to _The Globe_, suggests that the
rural reform most urgently needed is a better postal system in
the shires.]

[Illustration]

_Radical Reformer_ (_meeting Rural Labourer tramping to London_).
Yours is a typical case, my man. You are a victim of our insensate
Land Laws, or exploded Feudalism. No doubt you are leaving the country
because you could not find employment there?

_Rural Labourer_. 'Tisn't that so much. Old Gaffer always had summat
for a man to do, I can tell ye.

_Radical Reformer_. Glad to hear it, thou