ld be satisfied."

In the event of no money being received, the amount will be returned
without deductions.

* * * * *

CRIES WITHOUT WOOL.

NO. 1.--"HALL THE WINNERS!"

[Illustration]

Of all the cries this world can boast--
A loud, unconscionable host--
There's one that I detest the most--
It haunts me o'er my morning toast,
It scares my luncheon's calm and dinner's.
It dogs my steps throughout the week,
That cursed crescendo of a shriek;
I cannot read, or write, or speak,
Undeafened by its howl unique,
That demon-yell of "Hall the Winners!"

I'm not, I own, a racing man;
I never loved a horse that ran,
And betting is a vice I ban;
Still, to the sporting caravan--
Or good, or bad, or saints, or sinners--
I bear no malice; nor would take
A leaf from any books they make;
Why then, should _they_, for mercy's sake,
Pursue me till my senses ache
With that relentless "Hall the Winners?"

If it were only but a few,
But "_Hall_ the Winners!"--why, the crew
Must winning be the whole year through!
Why can't a veteran or two
Retire in favour of beginners?
I'd rather welcome e'en the strain
Of "Hall the Losers!" than remain
A martyr frenzied and profane
To that importunate refrain
Of (There! they're at it!!) "Hall the Winners!"

* * * * *

THE HONOUR OF THE BAR.

_TO THE EDITOR OF PUNCH._

SIR,--As the _London Charivari_ is recognised all the world over
as the universally acknowledged organ of the legal profession in
England, will you permit me to make an explanation nearly touching my
professional reputation. A few days since, a Correspondent to one of
your contemporaries complained that the leading Counsel of the epoch
were in the habit of accepting fees they never intended to earn. He
more than hinted that we Barristers were prone to receive cheques for
briefs that we knew we would never attend to; that we were ready to be
paid for being present in one Court, when we knew that we were sure to
be engaged in another. And so and so on.

Now there can be but one interpretation to such a statement. I am
reluctantly compelled to believe that some learned friend or other,
annoyed at my increasing practice, has levelled this blow at me, with
a view to lessening my prosperity. Will you let me say then, once and
for all, I have never received fees for briefs to which I have pai