turning
towards me the shoulder of indignation. I do not blame them, but how
can I help it? It is the Fairy's fault: the curse has come upon me.
WILLIAM BUFFY, the Statesman, has a great clan of kinsfolk. Did I ever
express my views about WILLIAM BUFFY, but one of Clan Buffy was there,
to be annoyed? When I find out what has occurred, I become as red as
any tomato, but that does nobody any good.

Oh, I am a Pariah, I am unfit to live! In a savage country, to which
my thoughts often wander, I would stumble over every taboo, and soon
find myself in the oven. As it is, I stumble over everything, stools
and lady's trains, and upset porcelain, and break all the odds and
ends with which I fidget, and spill the salt, and then pour claret
over it, and call on the right people at the wrong houses, and put
letters in the wrong envelopes: one of the most terrible blunders of
the Social Duffer. Naturally, in place of improving, MACDUFFER gets
worse and worse: every failure which he discovers makes him more
nervous: besides he knows that, of all his errors, he only finds out a
small per-centage. Where can he take refuge? If _Robinson Crusoe_ had
been a social Duffer, he and _Friday_ would not have been on speaking
terms in a week. People think the poor Duffer malignant, boorish,
haughty, unkind; he is only a Duffer, an irreclaimable, sad, pitiful
creature, quite beyond the reach of philanthropy. On my grave write,
not MISERRIMUS (though that would be true enough), but FUTILISSIMUS.

* * * * *

[Illustration: OUR SPECIAL ARTIST ON TOUR.

_Effect of Sketching in the Train_. (_The Ladies were drawn at the
Stations._)]

* * * * *

A GLADSTONIAN MENU.

The following _menu_ of a banquet, said to have been given at Biarritz
not long ago, has been forwarded to us:--

POTAGES.

Faux Col. Maree Coulante. Bonne Femme.

POISSONS.

Harpe Irlandaise, Sauce Verte. Anguilles Glissantes.

ENTREES.

Petits Cultivateurs en Caisses. Tete de Joseph frite, Sauce Jesse.
Conservateurs Foudroyes en brochette.

ROTS.

Vieille Main Parlementaire a la Renard. Parti de Parnell a la
Conscience Nonconformiste.

LEGUMES.

Discours en Branches. Pommes Maitre du Ministere. Choux d'Homere.

ENTREMETS.

Sucrerie d'Office. Conseils de Paroisse a la Cirque d'Ete. Mots de
Labouchere.

DESSERT.

Plans Varies. Elections Assorties.

The waiting was done by Candidates, and during t