up!

_Next Morning. In the Hall of the Grand Hotel Dandolo._

_The German Porter_ (_a stately person in a gold-laced uniform and a
white waistcoat, escaping from importunate visitors_). In von momendt,
Matam, I attend to you. You want a larcher roum, Sare? You address ze
manager, blease. Your dronks, Laties? I haf zem brod down, yes.

_A Lady_. Oh, Porter, we want a gondola this afternoon to go to the
Lido, and _do_ try if you can get us BEPPO--that _nice_ gondolier, you
know, we had yesterday!

_The Porter_. Ach! I do nod know _any_ nah-ice gondolier--zey are
oal--I dell you, if you lif viz zem ade mons as me, you cot your
troat--yes!

_Another Lady_. Porter, can you tell me the name of the song that man
is singing in the barge there?

_Porter_. I gannot dell you ze name--pecause zey sing always ze same
ting!

_A Helpless Man in knickerbockers_ (_drifting in at the door_). Here,
I say. We engaged rooms here by telegram from Florence. What am I to
give these fellows from the station? _Combien_, you know!

_Porter_. You gif zem two franc--and zen zey vill gromble. You haf
engage roums? yes. Zat vill pe oal rahit--Your loggage in ze gondola,
yes? I haf it taken op.

_The H.M._ No, it's left behind at Bologna. My friend's gone back for
it. And I say, think it will turn up all right?

_Porter_. Eef you register it, and your vrient is zere, you ged
it--yes.

_The H.M._ Yes, but look _here_, don't you know? Oughtn't I to make a
row--a fuss--about it, or something, eh?

_Porter_ (_moving off with subdued contempt_). Oh, you can make a
foss, yes, if you like--you ged nossing!

_Culch. and Podb._ (_stopping him simultaneously_). I say, I want
my luggage brought down from No. ---- in time for the twelve
o'clock--(_To each other_.) Hallo! are _you_ off too?

_Culch._ (_confused_). Er--yes--thought I might as well be getting
back.

_Podb._ Then I--I suppose it's all settled--with Miss T.--you
know--eh?

_Culch._ Fortunately--yes. And--er--_your_ engagement happily
concluded?

_Podb._ Well, it's _concluded_, anyway. It's all _off_, you know. I--I
wasn't artistic enough for her.

_Culch._ She has refused you? My _dear_ PODBURY, I'm really delighted
to hear this--at least, that is--

_Podb._ Oh, don't mind _me_. I'm getting over it. But I must
congratulate you on better luck.

_Culch._ On precisely similar luck. Miss TROTTER and I--er--arrived at
the conclusion last night that we were not formed to ma