The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 100,
April 11, 1891, by Various

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Title: Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 100, April 11, 1891

Author: Various

Release Date: August 25, 2004 [EBook #13283]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

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PUNCH,

OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

VOL. 100.

April 11, 1891.

MR. PUNCH'S PRIZE NOVELS.

NO. XVI.--GERMFOOD.

(_BY_ MARY MORALLY, _AUTHOR OF "GINBITTERS!" "ARDART," &C., &C._)

[The MS. of this remarkable novel was tied round with scarlet
ribbons, and arrived in a case which had been once used for
the packing of bottles of rum, or some other potent spirit.
It is dedicated in highly uncomplimentary terms to "_Messieurs
les Marronneurs glaces de Paris_." With it came a most
extraordinary letter, from which we make, without permission,
the following startling extracts. "Ha! Ha! likewise Fe Fo
Fum. I smell blood, galloping, panting, whirling, hurling,
throbbing, maddened blood. My brain is on fire, my pen is a
flash of lightning. I see stars, three stars, that is to say,
one of the best brands plucked from the burning. I'm going
to make your flesh creep. I'll give you fits, paralytic fits,
epileptic fits, and fits of hysteria, all at the same time.
Have I ever been in Paris? Never. Do I know the taste of
absinthe? How dare you ask me such a question? Am I a woman?
Ask me another. Ugh! it's coming, the demon is upon me. I must
write three murderous volumes. I must, I must! What was that
shriek? and that? and that? Unhand me, snakes! Oh!!!!--M.M."]

CHAPTER I.

[Illustration]

I was asleep and dreaming--dreaming dreadful, horrible,
soul-shattering dreams--dreams that flung me head-first out of
bed, and then flung me back into bed off the uncarpeted floor of my
chamber. But I did not wake--why should I?--it was unnecessary--I
wanted to dream--I had to dream and therefore I dreamt. I was walking
home from a cheap restaurant in one of the poor