didn't take in a word of it, as I was repeating
my peroration to myself all the time. My speech went off pretty well,
except that I got mixed up in the middle, and forgot that blessed
story. However, when I got into the buttering part, it took them
by storm. I warmed old GLADSTONE up to-rights, and asked them to
contrast the state of England now with what it was when he was in
power. "Hyperion to a Satyr," I said. Colonel CHORKLE, in proposing
afterwards that I was a fit and proper person to represent Billsbury,
said, "Mr. PATTLE's able and convincing speech proves 'im not only
a master of English, but a consummate orator, able to wield the
harmoury" (why he put the "h" there I don't know) "of wit and sarcasm
like a master. _I'm_ not given to boasting," he continued. "_I_
never indulge in badinage" (query, braggadocio?); "but, with such a
Candidate, we _must_ win." JERRAM seconded the resolution, which was
carried _nem. con._ Must get local newspapers, to show to mother.
She'll like that. Shall go back to London to-morrow.

* * * * *

"FORTNIGHTLY" V. SO-CALLED "NINETEENTH CENTURY."--Change of Author's
name. Mr. FREDERIC HARRISON to be known in future as "FREDERIC
HARRASIN' KNOWLES."

(_Signed_) [Greek: Phrederik]

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S POCKET IBSEN.

(_CONDENSED AND REVISED VERSION BY MR. P.'S OWN HARMLESS IBSENITE._)

NO. II.--NORA; OR, THE BIRD-CAGE (ET DIKKISVOeIT).

ACT II.

_The Room, with the cheap Art-furniture as before--except that the
candles on the Christmas-tree have guttered down and appear to have
been lately blown out. The cotton-wool frogs and the chenille monkeys
are disarranged, and there are walking things on the sofa._ NORA
_alone_.

_Nora_ (_putting on a cloak and taking it off again_). Bother
KROGSTAD! There, I won't think of him. I'll only think of the costume
ball at Consul STENBORG's, over-head, to-night, where I am to dance
the Tarantella all alone, dressed as a Capri fisher-girl. It struck
TORVALD that, as I am a matron with three children, my performance
might amuse the Consul's guests, and, at the same time, increase his
connection at the Bank. TORVALD _is_ so practical. (_To_ Mrs. LINDEN,
_who comes in with a large cardboard box._) Ah, CHRISTINA, so you
have brought in my old costume? _Would_ you mind, as my husband's new
Cashier, just doing up the trimming for me?

_Mrs. L._ Not at all--is it not part of my regu