or what other reason is't,
But to show (_in theorie_)
Thou sweet captive art to me;
Which, of course, is fiddlededee!
Runne and aske the nearest Judge,
He will tell thee 'tis pure fudge;
When thou willest, _thou_ mayst trudge;
_I'm_ thy Bondslave, Hymen's pact
Bindeth me in law and fact;
Thou art free in will and act;
'Tis but silke that bindeth thee,
Snap the thread, and thou art free:
But 'tis otherwise with me.
I am bound, and bound fast so
That from thee I cannot go.
(Hah! We'll have this altered, though.
Man _must_ be a wing-clipp'd goose
If he bows to Hymen's noose,--
_Heads you winne, and tails I lose!_)

* * * * *

MAGAZINE MANNERS.

_Editor to Eminent Writer_.--Review promises to be deadly slow next
month. Can you do something slashing for us? Pitch into somebody or
other--you know the style.

_Eminent Writer to Editor_.--Happy to oblige. Got old article handy
advocating cession of Canada and India to the French. Never wrote
anything more ripping. Pitches into everybody. Touching it up, and
will let you have it in two days. By the bye, telegraph people put a
K to my Christian name. Tell them not to do it again.

_Editor to Eminent Writer_ (_a week later_).--Sorry about the K. Got
your article. Not quite what I wanted. Style all right, but arguments
idiotic. Can't you take the other side? Much more popular.

_Eminent Writer to Editor_.--Idea insulting. Any more telegrams of
that sort, and I contribute in future to the _Shortsprightly Review_,
not yours!

_Editor to Eminent Writer_.--No offence meant. _Is_ there any other
Review besides mine? Never heard of the one you mentioned.

_Eminent Writer to Editor_ (_a month later_).--I say, what's this?
Virulent personal attack on me in your Review, signed with your name!
Pretends my article on giving up Canada, &c., was all a joke! Am I
the sort of man who would joke about anything? Reply at once, with
apology, or I skin you alive in next Number of _Shortsprightly_.

_Editor to Eminent Writer_.--Sorry you're offended. I thought my
Article rather a moderate one. Quite true that I talk about falsehood,
hypocrites, effrontery, demagogues, Pharisees, and so on; but
expressions to be taken in strictly Pickwickian sense, and of course
not intended for _you_.

_Eminent Writer to Editor_.--Explanation unsatisfactory. You first
insert contribution, and then slate it. Do you call yourself an