f railway contractors,
or the managing director of a cosmopolitan hotel company. Then,
although I am distinctly of opinion that I rightly carried out the
intentions of the statute by describing myself as "the head of the
family," my wife takes an opposite view of the question. In making the
other entries, I had no great difficulty. The ages of my domestics,
however, caused me some surprise. I had always imagined (and they have
given me their faithful and valuable services I am glad to say for
a long time) that the years in which they were born varied. But no,
I was wrong. I found they were all of the same age--two-and-twenty.
To refer to another class of my household--I described my son,
SHALLOW NORTH BRIEFLESS (the first is an old family name of forensic
celebrity, and the second an appropriate compliment to a distinguished
member of the judicial Bench, whose courtesy to the Junior Bar is
proverbial) as a "scholar," but rejected his (SHALLOW's) suggestion
that I should add to the description of his brother (one of my
younger sons, GEORGE LEWIS VAN TROMP CHESTER MOTE BOLTON BRIEFLESS--I
selected his Christian names in anticipated recognition of possible
professional favours to be conferred on him in after-life) the words
"imbecile from his birth," as frivolous, untrue, and even libellous.
We had but one untoward incident. In the early morning of Monday we
found in our area a person who had evidently passed the night there
in a condition of helpless intoxication. As she could offer no
satisfactory explanation of her presence, I handed her over to the
police, and entered her on the Census Paper as, "a supposed retired
laundress, seemingly living on her own means, and apparently blind
from the date of her last drinking-bout." I rejected advisedly her
own indistinctly but frequently reiterated assertion that "she was
a lady," because I had been warned by "the general instructions" to
avoid such "indefinite terms as Esquire or Gentleman."

As I wished to deliver my completed schedule to the "Appointed
Enumerator" in person, I desired that he might be shown into my study
when he called for the paper.

"Excuse me, Sir," he said, after looking through the document at my
request; "but you see there is a fine of a fiver for wilfully giving
false information."

"Yes," I returned, somewhat surprised at the suggestion; "and the
proposed penalty has rendered me doubly anxious to be absolutely
accurate. Do you notice any slip of t