My daughters swear _'tis_ dirty). I'd be grateful.
Instructions? Yes! Imperative and fateful!
But, oh! I wish they would "instruct" me how
To tell the truth without a family row.
"Best of my knowledge and belief"! Ah well
If Aunt MEHITABEL her age _won't_ tell;
If Cook will swear she's only thirty-three,
And rather fancies she was born at sea
(Where I am now) my "knowledge and belief"
Are not worth much to the official chief,
BRIDGES P. HENNIKER, if he only knew it.
A True Return? Well, if it is not true, it
Is not _my_ fault. Inquisitorial band,
I've done my level best--Witness my Hand!
The bothering business makes me feel quite bilious,
Peace now--for ten years more!

PATERFAMILIAS.

* * * * *

"FACTA NON VERBA"; OR, PIERROT IN LONDON.

"Of the best! of the very best!" as ZERO or CIRO is perpetually
affirming of everything eatable and drinkable that is for his own
benefit and his customers' refreshment at the little bar, not a
hundred miles from the Monte Carlo tables, where he himself and his
barristers practise day and night; and, as this famous cutter of
sandwiches and confectioner of drinks says of his stock in trade,
so say we of _L'Enfant Prodigue_, which, having been translated by
HORATIUS COCLES SEDGER from Paris to London, has gone straight to the
heart and intelligence of our Theatre-loving public.

[Illustration: A BLACK AND WHITE EXHIBITION.]

It is a subject for curious reflection that, just when the comic
scenes of our English Pantomime have been crushed out by overpowering
weight of gorgeous spectacle, there should re-appear in our midst a
revival of the ancient _Pierrot_ who pantomimed himself into public
favour with the Parisians towards the close of the seventeenth
century. Red-hot poker, sausages, and filching Clown have had their
day, and lo! when everyone said we were tired of the "comic business"
of Pantomime, here in our midst re-appear almost in their habits as
they lived, certainly with their white faces and black skull-caps "as
they appeared," a pair of marvellously clever Pierrots. Mlle. JANE
MAY as _Pierrot Junior_, "the Prodigy son," and M. COURTES as _Pierrot
Senior_, are already drawing the town to _Matinees_ at the Prince of
Wales's, causing us to laugh at them and with them in their joys, and
to weep with them in their mimic sorrows. Yes! _Pierrot redivivus!_

Mind you, it is not a piece for children; make no mis