"if they ain't both frinds, wan iv thim is.
An', annyhow, I'm glad to know Tom Reed ain't thryin' to break into
jail."

SLAVIN CONTRA WAGNER.

"Ol' man Donahue bought Molly a pianny las' week," Mr. Dooley said in
the course of his conversation with Mr. McKenna. "She'd been takin'
lessons fr'm a Dutchman down th' sthreet, an' they say she can play as
aisy with her hands crossed as she can with wan finger. She's been
whalin' away iver since, an' Donahue is dhrinkin' again.

"Ye see th' other night some iv th' la-ads wint over f'r to see
whether they cud smash his table in a frindly game iv forty-fives. I
don't know what possessed Donahue. He niver asked his frinds into the
parlor befure. They used to set in th' dining-room; an', whin Mrs.
Donahue coughed at iliven o'clock, they'd toddle out th' side dure
with their hats in their hands. But this here night, whether 'twas
that Donahue had taken on a dhrink or two too much or not, he asked
thim all in th' front room, where Mrs. Donahue was settin' with Molly.
'I've brought me frinds,' he says, 'f'r to hear Molly take a fall out
iv th' music-box,' he says. 'Let me have ye'er hat, Mike,' he says.
'Ye'll not feel it whin ye get out,' he says.

"At anny other time Mrs. Donahue 'd give him th' marble heart. But they
wasn't a man in th' party that had a pianny to his name, an' she knew
they'd be throuble whin they wint home an' tould about it. ''Tis a
mel-odjious insthrument,' says she. 'I cud sit here be the hour an'
listen to Bootoven and Choochooski,' she says.

"'What did thim write?' says Cassidy. 'Chunes,' says Donahue, 'chunes:
Molly,' he says, 'fetch 'er th' wallop to make th' gintlemen feel
good,' he says. 'What 'll it be, la-ads?' 'D'ye know "Down be th'
Tan-yard Side"?' says Slavin. 'No,' says Molly. 'It goes like this,'
says Slavin. 'A-ah, din yadden, yooden a-yadden, arrah yadden ay-a.'
'I dinnaw it,' says th' girl. ''Tis a low chune, annyhow,' says Mrs.
Donahue. 'Misther Slavin ividintly thinks he's at a polis picnic,' she
says. 'I'll have no come-all-ye's in this house,' she says. 'Molly,
give us a few ba-ars fr'm Wagner.' 'What Wagner's that?' says
Flannagan. 'No wan ye know,' says Donahue; 'he's a German musician.'
'Thim Germans is hot people f'r music,' says Cassidy. 'I knowed wan
that cud play th' "Wacht am Rhine" on a pair iv cymbals,' he says,
'Whisht!' says Donahue. 'Give th' girl a chanst.'

"Slavin tol' me about it. He says he niver heerd th