lligent young journalists, iver ready to probe fraud an'
sham, disgeezed as waithers, is dashin' madly about, makin' notes on
their cuffs. Business is suspinded. They'se no money in Wall Sthreet.
It's all at th' sacred scene. Hour be hour, as th' prisints ar-re
delivered, th' bank rates go up. Th' Threeasury Departmint has to go
on a silver basis, there bein' no goold to mannyfacther into plunks.

"Inside th' house th' prisints cast a goolden gleam on th' beauchious
scene. Th' happy father is seen seated at a table, dictattin'
millyion-dollar checks to a stinographer. Th' goold chandeliers is
draped with r-ropes iv dimon's an' pearls. Th' hired girl is passin'
dhrinks in goolden goblets. Twinty firemen fr'm th' New York Cinthral
Railroad is shovellin' dimon'-studded pickle crutes into th' back
yard, among th' yachts an' horses. Chansy Depoo enthers an' thrips
over a box iv bonds. 'Ar-re these th' holy bonds iv mathrimony?' he
says; f'r he is a wild divvle, an' ye can't stop his jokin', avin on
solemn occasions.

"Th' soggarth comes in afther a while, carryin' a goold prayer-book,
th' gift iv th' Rothscheelds, an' stands behind a small but vallyable
pree Doo. To th' soft, meelojous chune iv th' Wagner Palace Weddin'
March fr'm 'Long Green,' th' groom enthers, simply but ixpinsively
attired in governmint fours, an' fannin' himsilf with a bunch iv first
morgedge bonds.

"Th' prayers f'r th' occasion, printed on negotyable paper, is
disthributed among th' guests. Th' bride was delayed be th' crowd
outside. Women screamed an' waved their handkerchefs, sthrong men
cheered an' wept; an' 'twas not until th' polis had clubbed tin hardy
pathrites to death that th' lady cud enther th' house where her fate
was to be sealed. But fin'lly she med it; an' th' two happy, happy
childher, whose sunshiny youth riprisinted five thousan' miles iv
thrack, eight goold mines, wan hundherd millyion dollars' worth iv
rollin' stock, an' a majority intherest in th' Chicago stock yards,
was r-ready f'r th' nicissary thransfers that wud establish th'
combination.

"Th' ceremony was brief, but intherestin'. Th' happy father foorced
his way through dimon' stomachers; an' they was tears in his eyes as
he handed th' clargyman, whose name was Murphy,--but he carried
himsilf as well as if he was used to it,--handed him a check f'r tin
millyion dollars. I don't blame him. Divvle th' bit! Me own hear-rt is
har-rd an' me eyes ar-re dhry, but I'd break do