r hand enemy submarines may be said to have been more formidable
than in the Napoleonic wars.

But the German Fleet is strong. I am not one of the sort of humourists
who hold it up to contempt in its inactivity. For that matter I am not
any sort of humourist. Perhaps you have found that out. But the German
High Seas Fleet is no fit subject for joke. That it has proved harmless
is due to one thing alone--superiority.

And so the War wags. All over the high seas our merchantmen continue to
inscribe their indelible furrows.

And where is the German Fleet? I think I have answered that.

Here then I conclude my synopsis of the work of the Fleet in 1915. And
if it be said that it might well have stood almost word for word as the
record of the work of the Fleet in 1914, I may reply that I sometimes
wistfully wonder if I shall have to make any alterations in the text
before it goes to press again this time next year.

Bis.

* * * * *

VERY EARLY VICTORIAN.

"Handsomely carved early Victorian sideboard, been in one family
for a century."--_Advt. in "Horncastle News."_

* * * * *

From Mr. BONAR LAW'S speech as reported by a morning paper:--

"We were quite ready to carry on the principle of keeping a
united nation by keeping in opposition and not facetiously
opposing the Government."

Unlike those eminent humourists, Messrs. HOGGE, PRINGLE, and KING.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE SECOND TIME OF ASKING.

Bosch (_with visions of the conquest of Egypt_). "I SUPPOSE HE KNOWS THE
WAY THERE." Camel (_overhearing_). "_AND_ BACK!"]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Harassed N.C.O._ "Call that 'presenting arms'! If I was
the King and you presented arms like that, I'd--I'd throw my hat at
you!" ]

* * * * *

THE PESSIPHONE.

It is weary work being a pessimist these days, for the process of
corrugating the brow and groaning at the War news must of necessity
entail much energy. For some time past it has been patent to sympathetic
observers that what the pessimist to-day really needs is a machine to do
the work for him.

To meet this want the Electrophobia Syndicate have invented the
Pessiphone--a mixture of gramophone and pessimist--believing that he who
to-day can make two whimpers grow where one grew before deserves well of
his country in war t