ecoutent!_")

There is something in the air,
Dinna doot!
We shall shortly see some _guerre_
Hereaboot.
Yes, we're going to make a rush,
Starting Tuesday next at--Hush!
_Pourquoi?_
_Les ennemies oreilles nous ecoutent!_

We have got some special guns
For to shoot,
And to make the fleshy Huns
Up and scoot.
Would you care to hear the list?
There's a grandmamma at--Hist!
_Silence!_
_Les ennemies oreilles nous ecoutent!_

It is more than patent to
The astute
That a very big to-do
Is _en route_.
There's a million men, I'm told,
Sailing round to land at--Hold!
_Doucement!_
_Les ennemies oreilles nous ecoutent!_

Tho' to you, my simple friend,
It is moot
When the War is going to end
(_Dat vas goot!_)
_I_ could say exactly when
Peace will be declared. But then,
_Helas!_
_Les ennemies oreilles nous ecoutent!_

I should be the very last
To dispute
That remarks, too freely passed,
Come as loot
To those wicked people, spies;
Yet what lots and lots of lies
(_Mon Dieu!_)
_Les ennemies oreilles en ecoutent!_

Henry (Watch Dog).

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Fickle Young Thing_ (_revisiting Tattooist_.) "Er--do
you think you could possibly alter this badge on my arm? You see,
I've--er--exchanged into another regiment."]

* * * * *

From a report of KING FERDINAND'S address to the Sobranje:--

"The speech then exalts over victories won, and generally is
couched in a rather orid strain."--_Cork Constitution._

Like everything else that FERDY does.

* * * * *

New Ideas for War Weddings.

"The bride looked extremely well in a gown of ivory
crepe-de-chene, trimmed with filet lace and ivory aeroplane. Her
hat was of gathered aeroplane, adorned with real ospreys."

_Times of Ceylon._

"The ceremony and congratulations being of smilax and pom
pom'mums."

_Wiarton Echo (Canada)._

* * * * *

"The public simply hand in the order and cash to any
tobacconist, with the name of the man to whom the cigarettes are
to be sent, and the welcome gift will reach Tommy in time for
Christmas."

_Advt. in Morning Paper,