potted a stylish little Chunk of a Woman
who kept the Cigar Case and sold Books with Actress Photos on the
outside.

He walked over to buy a Cigar, but he happened to see the "3 for 50c."
Label and his Feet got cold.

So, instead of buying a Cigar, he conversed with the Proprietress. He
seemed to be a Success with her, and ventured to say that he was a
Stranger in Town and would like first-rate to go out to a Lecture or
some other kind of Entertainment that Evening if he could find a Nice
Girl that didn't mind going with a Respectable Man who could give
References, and besides was nearly old enough to be her Father. Then
after the Lecture they could go to a First-Class Restaurant and have an
Oyster Stew.

[Illustration: THE INVITATION]

Uncle Brewster had read the Illustrated Papers in the Barber Shop out
Home, and he certainly knew what was Expected of a Man who wanted to
give a Gay Girl the Time of her Life.

The Cigar and Literary Girl said she would be Charmed to Accompany him
only for one Thing: She said she didn't have a Hat that was Fit to Wear.
She said she could tell by his Looks that he was a Gentleman that
wouldn't want to go anywhere with a Lady whose Lid was Tacky. Possibly
he would be willing to Stake her to a Hat.

"What would the Hat come to?" asked Uncle Brewster, somewhat Leary.

"Only Fourteen Dollars," she replied.

"I'll Think it Over," quoth Uncle Brewster, in a choking Voice, and he
was so Groggy he walked into the Elevator instead of going out the
Street Door.

A little while later Uncle Brewster met an Acquaintance who gave him a
Complimentary Badge to the Races. He walked out to the Track, so as to
make the Expense as Reasonable as possible.

As soon as he was in the Ring a Tout took him back of a Hot Sausage
Booth and told him not to Give it Out, but Green Pill in the First Race
was sure to Win as far as a man could throw an Anvil, and to hurry and
get a Piece of Money on. Uncle Brewster looked at the Entries and began
to Quiver. He wished that Doc Jimmison could be there to Advise him.
Green Pill was 30 to 1, and the Tout had his information from a Stable
Boy that slept with the Horse.

A Reckless Spirit seized Uncle Brewster. He said he would take a Chance
even if he didn't know for Sure that he would Win. So he walked up to a
Bookie and said to him: "I want to Bet Fifty Cents on Green Pill, and
this is a Dollar here, so you want to give me Fifty Cents Change."

Whereupon the