out to start to the Depot, his Wife, Aunt Mehely, looked at
him through her Specs and shook her Head doubtfully.

Then she spoke as follows: "You go slow there in the City. You know your
Failin's. You're just full of the Old Harry, and when you're Het Up
you're just like as not to Raise Ned."

"I guess I can take keer of myse'f about as well as the Next One,"
retorted Uncle Brewster. "I've been to the Mill an' got my Grist, if any
one should ask. I ain't no Greeny."

With that he started for the Train, which was due in one Hour.

As he rode toward the Great City he smoked a Baby Mine Cigar, purchased
of the Butcher, and told the Brakeman a few Joe Millers just to throw
out the Impression that he was Fine and Fancy.

After he had Registered at the Hotel and Swelled Up properly when
addressed as "Mister" by the Clerk, he wanted to know if there was a
Lively Show in Town. The Clerk told him to follow the Street until he
came to all the Electric Lights, and there he would find a Ballet. Uncle
Brewster found the Place, and looked in through the Hole at an Assistant
Treasurer, who was Pale and wore a Red Vest.

[Illustration: UNCLE BREWSTER]

"I want a Chair near the Band," said Uncle Brewster. "How much does one
of 'em Fetch?"

"Two Dollars," replied the Assistant Treasurer, pulling down his Cuffs
and then examining himself in a small Mirror at one side of the Diagram.

"Great Grief!" ejaculated Uncle Brewster. "I only paid Thirty-Five Cents
for the Glass Blowers, an' I'll warrant you they beat your Troupe as bad
as Cranberries beats Glue. I'll see you plumb in Halifax before I--"

"Stand aside, please," said the Assistant Treasurer.

Uncle Brewster saw a Policeman, and thought it his Duty to tell the
Officer that the Theater Folks were a Pack of Robbers.

"Up an Alley," said the Policeman.

Instead of going to a Show, Uncle Brewster stood in front of a Clothing
Store and watched the Wax Figures.

When he got back to his Room the Bell-Hopper came around and asked him
if he cared to Sit in a Quiet Game. Uncle Brewster wanted to know
whether they were Gamblers or Business Men, and the Boy said they were
Business Men. It was all Friendly, with an Ante of Two Bits and the
Chandelier as the Limit. Uncle Brewster said he was accustomed to
playing with Lima Beans, Three for a Cent and One call Two and no fair
to Bluff. The Bell-Hopper told him to Turn In and get a Good Night's
Rest.

Next Morning at the Hotel he s