er was only
Eleven and not quite Big Enough as yet to do all the Work for five Men.

Finally he found one who had the Reputation of being a Good Worker. When
he took her over to his House to Break Her In, the Paper at the County
Seat referred to them as the Happy Couple.

MORAL: _Be Honest and Respected and it Goes_.

_THE_ FABLE _OF_ WHY SWEETIE FLEW _THE_ TRACK

Once there were two Married People who used "Lovey" and "Pet" when they
were in Company, and as soon as they were at Home they Threw Things at
each other. She used to watch him through a Hole in the Curtain to see
if he Flirted with any Women as he walked up the Street, and he bribed
the Hired Girl to tell him Everything that happened while he was off the
Reservation.

They did not Mocha and Java worth a Cent.

The Cardboard Motto in the Dining Room said, "Love One Another," but
they were too Busy to Read.

He had a Clearing on the top of his Head and wore Side-Whiskers and bore
a general Resemblance to the Before in an Ad for a Facial Treatment, and
yet she suspected that all the Women in Town were Crazy to steal him
away from her.

Likewise, inasmuch as she was the same Width all the way up and down,
the same as a Poster Girl, and used to sport a Velvet Shroud with Black
Beads on it, and could wield a Tooth-Pick and carry on a Conversation at
the same time, he knew that sooner or later some Handsome Wretch with
Money would try to Abduct her.

Sometimes he would bring a Friend Home to Dinner, and then if the Friend
extended himself and told the Missus how well she was looking or
Perjured himself over her Hand-Painting, Papa would get a Grouch and
hide in the Corner.

[Illustration: BABY]

Then she would Fan herself rapidly and ask, "Aren't you well, Dear?"

Dear would force one of those Dying-Martyr Smiles and reply, "I am quite
well, Puss."

Then Puss would tell the Visitor that Baby was simply ruining his Health
through Devotion to his Employers, but they didn't seem to Appreciate
him at all.

After the Visitor went away there would be Language all over the Shop,
and the poor Hired Girl would lock the Door and write to the
Intelligence Office for a new Place.

Truly, it was a Happy Little Home, with the Reverse English.

She would Frisk his Wardrobe every day or two, looking for Evidence, and
he would compel her to Itemize her Accounts so that he might be sure she
was not giving Jewelry to the Iceman.

She would find a certain