He put it back
into the Box and carried it Home, and said to his Wife, "See what I have
Bought for you."

It occurred to him that after getting a Present like that, she ought to
let him stay out every Night for a Month. But she could not see it that
Way. He had to tell her that Some Women never seem to Appreciate having
Husbands to Grind and Toil all day, so as to be able to purchase
Beautiful Gifts for them. Then she told him that all the Women of her
Acquaintance had received these Books as Presents, and a crowd of
Married Men must have been given a Club Rate. Then he Spunked up and
said that if she was going to look a Gift Horse in the Mouth, they
wouldn't Talk about it any more.

In the meantime the Grass Widow was living at the Waldorf-Astoria.

MORAL: _Those who are Entitled to it Get it sooner or later_.

_THE_ FABLE _OF THE_ HONEST MONEY-MAKER AND THE PARTNER OF HIS JOYS,
_SUCH AS THEY WERE_

The Prosperous Farmer lived in an Agricultural Section of the Middle
West. He commanded the Respect of all his Neighbors. He owned a Section,
and had a Raft of big Horses and white-faced Cows and Farm Machinery,
and Money in the Bank besides. He still had the first Dollar he ever
made, and it could not have been taken away from him with Pincers.

Henry was a ponderous, Clydesdale kind of Man, with Warts on his Hands.
He did not have to travel on Appearances, because the whole County knew
what he was Worth. Of course he was Married. Years before he had
selected a willing Country Girl with Pink Cheeks, and put her into his
Kitchen to serve the Remainder of her Natural Life. He let her have as
high as Two Dollars a Year to spend for herself. Her Hours were from 6
A.M. to 6 A.M., and if she got any Sleep she had to take it out of her
Time. The Eight-Hour Day was not recognized on Henry's Place.

[Illustration: HENRY]

After Ten Years of raising Children, Steaming over the Washtub, Milking
the Cows, Carrying in Wood, Cooking for the Hands, and other Delsarte
such as the Respected Farmer usually Frames Up for his Wife, she was as
thin as a Rail and humped over in the Shoulders. She was Thirty, and
looked Sixty. Her Complexion was like Parchment and her Voice had been
worn to a Cackle. She was losing her Teeth, too, but Henry could not
afford to pay Dentist Bills because he needed all his Money to buy more
Poland Chinas and build other Cribs. If she wanted a Summer Kitchen or a
new Wringer or a Sewing Machine, or