Cowhide
Bag that must have used up at least one Cow. The Clothes he wore
evidently had been cut from a Steamer Rug by his Mother, or some other
Aged Relative suffering from Astigmatism. He had been Sleeping in them.

As for the Second Traveler, he was an Advance Agent.

"Cheer Up," said the Advance Agent to the English Tourist. "It may not
be True, and if it is True it may be for the Best."

The English Tourist made no Response, fearing that his Fellow-Traveler
might be In Trade.

[Illustration: TOURIST]

Then the One that waited on the Table did the Glide from behind a
Screen.

She was very Pale, up to a certain Point.

Pausing about six feet from the English Tourist she looked resolutely at
a Knot-Hole in the Floor and said:

"Beefsteakliverhamand."

"My Good Woman," said the Man from Stoke-on-Tritham, just as if he meant
to Prorogue something. "I should like a Rasher of Bacon, and have it
Jolly Well Done."

"Ain't got no Bacon," she replied, feeling of her Brooch.

"Dyuh-me! Then I should like some Boiled Eggs, and mind that they are
Fresh."

"I'll give you Regular Aigs," she said, lifting her Head proudly, for
she was no Serf.

"Approach me, Kit," said the Advance Agent, with gentle Voice.

"Is tha-a-at so-o-o?" she asked. "I'll have you know, Smarty, my name
ain't Kit. So There!"

"Well, make it Genevieve," said the Advance Agent. "Come close and hold
my Hand while I give you this Order. And merely as one Friend speaking
to another, I want to tell you that the Blending under the Left Ear is
very poor, and if you are not careful somebody will Sign you as a
Spotted Girl."

"My Mother was a Lady," she said.

"That being the Case, I would like to have you go out and Engage a nice
piece of Liver for me. And if you show yourself to be real Winsome and
Chic I may be able to use you with the Troupe."

"Tea or Coffee?"

"Don't tell me which one you bring and see if I can Guess. And I would
like some Actual Potatoes."

"I suppose, Sir, you think I have no Feelings."

"That is none of my Business," he replied. "I am merely passing through
your Beautiful Little City."

"I wish Edmund was here," said she.

"So do I," assented the Advance Agent, promptly. "If he can wait on the
Table I wish he was here. Now see if you can make the Kitchen in two
Jumps."

[Illustration: ADVANCE AGENT]

"He'd show you if you could get Flossy with a Lady, even though she
Works."

"You are about to lose your Tip