ngle. He wondered why he had been so slow in getting on to
Clara's Good Points. Also he wondered if it was any Open-and-Shut
Certainty when a dozen other Men, some of them Younger and more Gallus,
were after her in Full Cry.

Clara had him Pulled In, Strung and Hung over the side of the Boat.

Of course if all the other Girls had been in Town, they would have
Tumbled long before it ran into a Certainty, and probably they would
have formed a V and rushed in to break up the Play. But the other Girls
were Far Away with the Old Men and the Seminary Striplings. Clara had an
Open Field, with no need of any Interfering or Blocking, and if she Fell
Down it was her own Fault. Besides, she had all these other Admirers set
out as Decoys to prove that if he didn't, somebody else might.

The Treasurer of the Shoe Factory got a large Rally on himself, and she
had to Give In and make a Promise.

He loves to tell Callers how he proposed to his Wife in the Kitchen, and
he doesn't know to this Day that she was Expecting it.

MORAL: _As soon as he begins to Frequent the Back Rooms of the House,
measure him for the Harness_.

_THE_ FABLE _OF THE_ MAN-GRABBER WHO WENT OUT _OF_ HIS CLASS

While standing in front of his Store, between two Dummies in Seersucker
Suits, one of the Chosen People spotted a Good Thing that resembled a
Three-Sheet of the Old Homestead. It was looking up at the Top Stories
and bumping against Hydrants and Unsurpassed Coffee Bulletins. The flip
Yahooda, with the City Education and Thirty Centuries of Commercial
Training to back him up, saw that here was a Chance to work off some Old
Stock. So when the mild old Gentleman with the strawcolored Sluggers and
the Freckles on his Wrists came near enough, he Closed with him and told
him to come inside and look at a New Style called the McKinley Overcoat
because the President had one just like it.

Uncle Eck replied that he did not really need an Overcoat, as he had
traded for one only a few Seasons before, but he was willing to go in
and Look Around, and if he did not buy anything he reckoned there
wouldn't be any Hard Feelings. Accordingly he walked straight into the
Trap and permitted Mr. Zangwill to show him an Assortment of Shoddy
Garments fastened together with Mucilage. The Crafty Merchant came down
from $38 to $6.50, and showed him a Confidential Letter from his Cousin
Sig to prove that the Goods had been Smuggled in, but old Peaceful
Valley refused to