awkins. Who's she? What,
_you_! (Drops the receiver; runs to window.) Thaddeus! Mr.
Yardsley! Mr. Barlow!--all of you come here, quick.

[They rush in. Perkins with shawl-strap about his waist--limping.
Barlow has large air-pump in his hand. Mrs. Perkins grows faint.

Perkins. Great heavens! What's the matter?

Barlow. Get some water--quick!

[Yardsley runs for water.

Mrs. Perkins. Air! Give me air!

Perkins (grabbing pump from Barlow's hand). Don't stand there like
an idiot! Act! She wants air!

[Places pump on floor and begins to pump air at her.

Barlow. Who's the idiot now? Wheel her over to the window. She's
not a bicycle.

They do so. Mrs. Perkins revives.

Perkins. What is the matter?

Mrs. Perkins. Mrs. Willoughby Hawkins--arrested--Forty-second
Street--no lamp--bailed out. Oh, dear me, dear me! It'll all be in
the papers!

Perkins. What's that got to do with us? Who's Mrs. Willoughby
Hawkins?

Mrs. Perkins. Emma! Assumed name.

Barlow. Good Lord! Mrs. Bradley in jail?

Perkins. This is a nice piece of--ow--my ankle, my ankle!

[Enter Bradley and Yardsley at same time, Bradley with bottle of
Pond's Extract, Yardsley with glass of water.

Bradley. Where the deuce did you fellows go to? I've been wandering
all over the square looking for you.

Perkins. Your wife--

Bradley (dropping bottle). What? What about her--hurt?

Mrs. Perkins. Worse! [Sobs.

Bradley. Killed?

Mrs. Perkins. Worse--l-lol-locked up--in jail--no bail--wants to be
lamped out.

Bradley. Great heavens! Where?--when? What next? Where's my hat?--
what'll the baby say? I must go to her at once.

Yardsley. Hold on, old man. Let me go up. You're too excited. I
know the police captain. You stay here, and I'll run up and fix it
with him. If you go, he'll find out who Mrs. Hawkins is; you'll get
mad, and things will be worse than ever.

Bradley. But--

Barlow. No buts, my dear boy. You just stay where you are.
Yardsley's right. It would be an awful grind on you if this ever
became known. Bob can fix it up in two minutes with the captain, and
Mrs. Bradley can come right back with him. Besides, he can get there
in five minutes on his wheel. It will take you twenty on the cars.

Yardsley. Precisely. Meanwhile, Brad, you'd better learn to ride
the wheel, so that Mrs. B. won't have to ride alone. This ought to
be a lesson to you.

Perkins. Bully idea (rubbing